A Little Ray Of Hope

I went to a lovely housewarming party yesterday. Lots of friends, great hospitality, yummy food and fabulous costumes. I was honoured to be there. I was also very happy that I seemed to be more chilled about playing. Though my birthday party a few weeks ago was lovely, I was very stressed about playing and being spanked and ended up worrying myself far more than I needed to about the whole prospect. When I did end up playing it was fine.

This time, I was pleasantly surprised that I wasn't actually worried about the prospect of play. I maybe wasn't at the point of desperately wanting to be spanked, but I also wasn't sitting in the corner with a knot of worry in my stomach, hoping that people would *not* want to play with me. And that in itself, in the context of the last couple of months, is something of a breakthrough. I ended up playing three times in total. All brief scenes, but no less enjoyable for that. And I also had a rather nice dream that night where I had a great idea for a role play. I think my kink is on the way back, so hopefully by the next party, in another month, I'll be on top form and wanting to be beaten by everybody in the room!