I've been thinking a lot about lying this week, prompted mostly by an impending weekend away with a group of vanilla friends, and the inevitable question, "what have you been up to, then?"
I hate lying, as much as I hate being lied to. I'm not particularly good at it, I feel very uncomfortable doing it, and I have a hard time understanding why people would want to lie. This is one of the reasons why I have told people I think I can trust about what I've REALLY been up to recently. I suppose, though, that this lifestyle makes liars of us all to a certain extent. Even those people who only spank within their marriage have probably had to lie if asked those "what gives your marriage that special something" questions. I would imagine there are very few people who have revealed their real identities on their blogs or in their comments. The chances are that we all lie in small ways every day about TTWD.
I suppose the way I cope with having to lie, especially to my friends, is by making sure that my lies are more of the "omission of facts" variety, rather than out and out untruths. Semantics, I know, but it makes me feel better about things. So I will be spending the weekend being very careful about what I say and how I say it. The compensation will be that I get to spend the weekend in the company of some lovely people.
10 hours ago
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Definitely not my favorite part, either. There are interesting recent posts on Radspace and El Tercer Ojo that talk about the tendency to make new close friends only among the kinky once one has joined the scene. I wonder if it's just not worth the trouble to form new friendships with people to whom we'd have to lie.
I am not sure that failing to inform friends of every detail of our private lives is actually lying.
To be sure, when someone asks me what I did last night, I don't say, well Constance had been a really naughty girl, so I spanked her bottom and made her stand in the corner to ruminate about the wages of sin.
I must admit that I don't feel that I should be privy to everything that other people do, or that if I am not, they are actually lying to me. Having a private life is not lying in my opinion, it is just being normal. Saying you have a qualification that you do not have, saying you are divorced when you are not, that's lying.
It's something I struggle with and feel a bit dumb about from time to time as well. I mess with the semantics too. "Where did you go/what did you do on your vacation" are the biggest ones. There have been times I have been tempted to toss off a breezy "ah you know, had masses of kinky sex" and laugh with them as if I was kidding.
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