Mean Boys

My mother always told me about mean boys when I was growing up. You know, the ones that a girl should avoid because they were, well, mean. Of course, I never was one to follow my mother's advice, and over the past couple of years, I've learnt lots more about mean boys, and how they operate.

Mean boys are the ones that come to your house and accuse you of kidnapping their possessions, when in fact they are just forgetful.

Mean boys are the ones that spank you for no reason, and then spank you harder when you're cheeky.

They are the ones who make you stand in the corner with the knickers round your knees and your hands on your head, and then claim that they saw you rubbing your poor, sore bottom when they were out of the room, and spank you some more.

You can recognise mean boys, as they are the ones that “borrow” your implement bag and then use things like wooden spoons and straps on you. (Note to self, burn all wooden spoons.)

A mean boy may well make you wear a pirate hat while spanking you, because they are just that mean.

A mean boy puts ice on your bottom and says they are doing it to make sting better.

Mean boys use nasty wooden hairbrushes. And not on their heads. Nasty wooden hairbrushes that will be dead nasty wooden hairbrushes if I get my way.

Mean boys use phrases like "Because I said so" far too often.

Mean boys cane.

Don't tell anyone, but I quite like mean boys....