Sunday 16 January 2011

Dear Diary

Dear Diary.

It's not bloody fair. Stupid school. I'm so misunderstood. You're the only one who gets me. Even Caoilfhionn isn't on my side any more. It's NOT FAIR!!! You'd think, maybe, that people would have pleased with me, right?! I was in sick bay in the morning, so I missed all of morning school, and all the various pranks they played, so I looked like a mini angel in comparison to the rest of them. I behaved all through the classes. I really tried in Art, even though I'm crap. I listened in history to the new teacher, Major Payne, even though his map of the world was a bit freaky and mixed up... Someone said it was what the world used to look like, but it just looked like everything was sideways to me.

I was really enthusiastic in Religious Education, which was all about the dangers of Satanism. I even acted out a piece on the Milgram experiment. (Or it might have been Mildew. Mr S seemed a bit confused.) in English. Or was it Psychology? I wasn't quite sure. But anyway, I really paid attention and everything, and at the end of the day got not just PLUS housepoints, but PLUS THIRTY! And it still wasn't bloody enough.

I got pink slipped and had to go and see Reverend Jenkins. Some idiot had put pictures of the New Years Eve party I had on Facebook, so I got beaten for allowing minors to drink hard liquor. Like it's my fault if people go and raid the drinks cabinet.

You would have thought that I'd have some support in Caoilfhionn, but no, she was too busy being head bloody girl. And talk about a power trip. All that stuff everyone says about power corrupting, well, they are TOTALLY right. It was like she was possessed or something. Bossing everyone about. She spent all afternoon trying to get me to tuck my shirt in and straighten my tie. She was driving me up the wall. One tiny little bit of power, and it goes straight to her head. I want my friend back.

But worst of all was the end of the day. Everyone else ended up in detention because of the balloon stunt, and serves them right. (Of course I would have ended up in detention for that as well if I hadn't been in the san, but that's not the point.) I thought I'd be safe, not having been in class and all that. But ohhh nooo. Apparently, my uniform was a "disgrace" so that was what I was being put in detention for... I wouldn't mind, but the only thing wrong was my skirt!! I even had black knickers on probably for the first time in my life. And I was only wearing the wrong skirt because I couldn't find my uniform one because Grandmother and the servants had been sick with flu, so I'd had to do my packing myself. And the thing was, it was black, and pleated (though the pleats were in the wrong direction...!)

So anyway, I end up in detention with Mr Brown and Major Payne, and they say we're all getting twelve from each of them. Well, I was seriously pissed off about that, and I didn't bother to try and hide it, so then I got a lecture on attitude. Yawn. I got six from Mr Brown with the cane, and then six from the Major with some strap. I was still seriously pissed off, and was talking back to them, so they said if I didn't show a change in attitude after the next 12, then I'd have to have even more. Well its not me who needs to change my attitude, it's them! They were totally picking on me. All I'd done is wear the wrong skirt, which was NOT MY FAULT ANYWAY, like I tried to explain to them. But they wouldn't listen, and they said I was raising my voice to them and I wasn't and it wasn't fair. And then Major Payne got even more evil. He dragged me up to the front BY MY EAR and then they gave me six more each, and he used the most evil wooden paddle I've ever felt. In the end I said I was sorry, because I wanted them to stop beating me, but I had my fingers crossed so it totally doesn't count.

And do you know what, if Caoilfhionn had been there, I bet she would have said I even deserved it!
Diary, it's not fair, I'm so misunderstood. I try to be good but they all hate me. You're the only one that understands me.

I'm going to go and cry now.

Jems.

(Editor's Comment: Eliane would like to point out that she had a wonderful time at Lowewood, even if Jemima did feel a little persecuted!)

10 comments:

EmmaJane said...

Caoilfhionn would agree indeed that your uniform was a disgrace and you deserved that particular punishment!

But yes she being head girl did put rather a strain on their friendship. At least EJ and Eliane are OK though and aren't as traumatised as their characters ;-)

Such a great day with a fab group of people xx

Haron said...

Poor Jemima, the most misunderstood girl in the school!!!

indy said...

Jemima wore regulation knickers? OMG, someone pass the smelling salts!

Pandora Blake said...

Awwww, poor Jemima! Glad Eliane had fun though :)

Abel1234 said...

I do hope your online jottings are brought to the attention of the Headmaster. Bringing the school into disrepute online really is a most serious breach of school rules...

Rev. Jenkins

catherine said...

@indy: they weren't *exactly* regulation. The back of the knickers were black (though a quick perusal of the uniform requirements would have shown that they are supposed to be white or navy); the less said about the front, the better ;-)

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

If I recall, the 'skirt' was so abysmal that it distracted from the rest of your uniform and appearence... shirt collar up, tie not done up, hair a mess, shoes unpolished, and constant dissaproving sneer on your face everytime a Master spoke with you....
You deserved every stroke, if not more. And shame on you that you could not take your punishment as well as the other two girls in detention with you (Sylvie and Suzanne)

Sarah said...

Well Suzanne thought you looked great, your attempt at uniform reminded her of her old school friends back in her run down comp in deepest darkest Liverpool :-)

Rebecca said...

Awww poor Jemima - I'm sure you were an angel...or not! Don't worry about Mr Brown caning you though - you know he likes to dress up as a fluffy bunny in his spare time right?