I've not blogged for a while. This is somewhat due to time, but more due to inclination.
My kink is a fragile thing nowadays, easily quashed by the vagaries of real life. New job, illness, stress, all have contributed towards my lack of, for want of a better word, form.
Don't get me wrong, I have been playing over the past couple of months, and I enjoy it when I play, but I'm well aware that my pain tolerance is markedly down on what it used to be, and more frustratingly, I don't seem to crave spankings like I used to. I still have my moments, but those overwhelming longings, taking over my concious to the exclusion of most other things, most definitely seem to be a thing of the past.
Craving a spanking is a funny thing. It's an exciting, butterfly-in-the-stomach inducing feeling. It takes over your thoughts, leaves you distracted and unable to concentrate. Things that really shouldn't inspire rude thoughts in you send you off into reveries for minutes at a time. If I'm being honest, it's an awkward, inconvenient feeling. So why do I miss it?
I know I still need a spanking from time to time. Much as I hate to admit it, it grounds me, centres me, makes me feel like I've got more control on the other stuff that's going on in the world. But I know that on an intellectual level more than on an emotional or visceral one.
It doesn't worry me that I don't really have the same level of cravings any more. After all, I'm still kinky, and I still enjoy playing. It's just that maybe it doesn't obsess my thoughts to the same level that it used to. Which I suppose is only normal.
2 days ago
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3 comments:
I think you are right, Eliane, there are times one obsesses more about spanking and there are times one doesn't. As long as you still enjoy your spanking play everything seems to be fine. I just hope that your life has become a bit less stressful and that your health condition is back to normal! :-)
I'm sure real life does have an impact on one's kink levels. But you're still kinky, still enjoy it, still have friends who love playing with you. What's not to like? But hope your kink levels do rise again to the level you want...
I agree with Abel and Kaelah - I think levels go up and down and real life does definitely have an impact. As long as you're enjoying what you're doing I wouldn't worry - you'll probably find yourself hit by a surprise craving when you expect it least...
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