Dear friends, I want to bring to your attention an injustice that has been committed. A grave injustice. Against the tenet of the right to free speech. For those of us lucky enough to live in democracies this is a right we take for granted, but apparently in our little kinky corner of the world, this is not the case.
Why you may ask? What has caused such a travesty to occur? Well, my friends, I will tell you.
I have several times on Twitter voiced my opinion of the drivers of certain brands of cars. BMWs and Audis, to be precise. Those of you who live in the UK might know what I'm talking about:
They are the ones who drive six inches from your bumper flashing you to move over when you're already doing 80 in the overtaking lane, can't pull back in because of traffic and can't go faster because of traffic. (Um, and the law, obviously).
They are the ones who claim that indicators are "optional extras" on their cars and therefore never use them.
They are the ones who refuse to pull over or let you out at a junction, etc. etc.
All fair comments, I'm sure you will agree. And, even if they weren't fair comments, it is still my right to express my opinion!
But apparently there are certain tops who disagree. Stand up and be counted as guilty, Mr Allen! At the very enjoyable party for the Fifth Birthday of The Spanking Writers yesterday he saw fit to drag me upstairs, and then proceeded to spank me while questioning me on the uses of indicators, belt me on behalf of all BMW drivers, strap me on behalf of all Audi drivers and then give me twelve strokes of the cane to... Well, to be honest, I can't even remember what the twelve strokes were for. To remind me he is the evil oppressor of free speech, perhaps?
All in all, I was thoroughly and unjustly abused. And I think my right minded friends in the blogoshpere should leap to my defence, and join me in declaring that not only are BMW and Audi drivers rude road hoggers, but they are intrinsically evil.
1 day ago
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10 comments:
Much as I would *never* drive a BMW or Audi, I do find this to be a sorry tale. That a girl should be so unrepentant after a punishment suggests that she was let off far too lightly. I hereby call on Mr Allen to rectify the situation by doing the job properly the next time he sees you...
I can't believe you're saying something so nice about BMW and Audi drivers! ;)
I don't think you know what car my other half drives, do you m'dear? And drives v well too (generally!) imo! Think it might be about time to acquaint him with your views, in order to give him a chance to express his to you in return, next time you meet ;-) Freedom of expression being, as you say, of great importance! (Lights blue touchpaper and retires...)
Absolutely Abel, clearly the initial discussion on this matter with my cane was ineffective. This oversight shall be rectified with an intense discussion with my cane paying particular attention to the crease.
Nice work, Eliane! I think that must be the quickest earning of a repeat caning I've seen for a while...
Eliane, I, for one (safe way out here in the Americas), will stand by you and your right to free speech :D Just don't forget that 'freedom of expression' doesn't necessarily mean 'freedom from consequence!' :D
Randomly found your blog.
And wow that was quick retribution for your free speech comments...if only the law could work as quickly (not that I think it was justified but hey, who doesn't love a good spanking!)
Ooo, well, hmm, I drive a BMW (his name is Francis and he's a lovely old hand-me-down from a rich uncle) and I generally ignore all impositions on speed and various other driving "laws" - so anyway, Elaine, I think you are entirely right - on behalf of all BMW drivers, I sincerely apologize ;)
Eliane! This is just not right putting BMW and Audi drivers together. I actually share your view of BMW drivers, but us Audi types are restrained and polite...even the royal family in the UK drive Audis! I forgive you, just because your email address is so funny. See, more evidence.
I agree....all BMW and Audi drivers are nothing but rude road hoggers...here here!!
(Says he who drives a Chrysler)
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