It's a hard life being a top. And I don't mean that sarcastically fo once. From the other end of the stick, so to speak, it really does seem to me like it's a hard job to be a top. You need to balance a scene perfectly. There is a fine line between pushing someone's limits and pushing them beyond their limits, between a scene being at the pinnacle of where it can be and going a little too far. Reading mood is critical, understanding circumstances, judging tolerance, especially when the person you could beat extremely hard three weeks ago is now crying at a hand spanking. Remembering limits that may seem bizarre and strange, but also, if broken, have the potential to turn a scene or even a friendship, sour very quickly.
How much more difficult, is it then, being a top in a group scene where the varying limits of the people involved are enough to make your head spin. How do you deal with all of those limits while still keeping coherency in a scene but making it a good experience for everyone? It's very hard.
I felt particular for Abel and HH at the Yorkshire school over Easter weekend. Apart from the usual "some knickers up/some knickers down", "can't be hit in X place/likes being hit in X place" sort of differences, the setting of the scene bought its own specific limits for me. One is around showering. While I would like to try the whole cold shower thing, never having done it, it's a very, very brave person indeed that messes with my OCD morning shower routine. Basically if I can't shower, properly, in the order I need to, in the morning, before I get dressed, I'm liable to have a bit of a meltdown, and certainly will need to wash every stitch of clothing I'm wearing at the earliest possible point. (Yes, I'm aware I need help!) I totally forgot to mention this until the day before when we were discussing the scene. Doubtless this threw their planning out, but they still managed to conduct the "morning showers" in such a way that 21st century Eliane avoided mental health breakdown and 19th century Louisa was still very much in evidence.
Another difficulty came around the actual activities we had to fulfil. 1824 schools were boring. Lots of reading, writing and rote learning. As a dyslexic (albeit a mild one), some of these tasks can pose small issues that would not cause me problems in daily life, but might well cause me to be punished in 1824, with the potential of reviving too many bad memories of school days pre-diagnosis when I was told off frequently for my "carelessness" when copying from the board, or my "lack of concentration" when forgetting something I'd just been told.
Knowing the approximate format of what we'd be doing, I warned the guys in advance that while I was more than happy to take part in these activities, undue criticism for things I genuinely couldn't help may well result in Eliane being distressed rather than Louisa. Once more, I was impressed at how well they worked these foibles into the scene. I was not punished unduly harshly for my total inability to recall anything about what I had just read out loud, and the trips between masters were organised in such a way that while I still had to do the copying out task, it was not actually going to be reviewed by anyone, therefore removing the need for anyone to beat Louisa for accidentally writing "anal" instead of "and" when doing this task (write anal and and in cursive script and see how easy it is to get the two mixed up).
The amount of care and forethought that HH and Abel had obviously put into the planning to make sure that we all had an experience we could enjoy while still taking into account our "eccentricities" (I speak only of myself!) brought home to me once more how lucky I am to play with people (and not just the two already mentioned) who put such thought, effort and planning into scenes, to make sure that they are the best possible. So (just this once!) let's give those mean, horrid tops a few minutes of praise. Only a few mind you, we wouldn't want them to be getting ideas!
14 hours ago
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5 comments:
Nice homage there Eliane. Quite right you are about the challenges faced by tops, especially in a group scene like retro school play. Whoever said this was a complicated psychological game was right about the "complicated" bit at least!
Karl Friedrich Gauss
I'm rather in awe of all of the work that tops put in to setting the scene - not just for large group play like you've described, but also for smaller every day ones as well.
But you're right, we shouldn't go on about it too long or they'll get a bit full of themselves ;)
Em
I was thinking along the same lines as I've been writing up a series of posts on the Lowewood Boarding School weekend, and thinking in general about my two weeks in the UK. I played with at least four excellent tops while I was there, all with quite different styles. You're absolutely right about the difficulty of managing any scene that pushes limits, never mind a group scene. It brings home just how much trust there must be between players in scenes like that-- and that the top has to be able to trust the bottom just as much as the bottom has to trust the top.
This is spot on, and it's lovely of you to write it. Historical/unfair roleplay that involves being given genuine tasks to complete is particularly rife for this sort of thing. Another reason I was so very very impressed with Lucy and Amy at Finishing School!
Awww, thank you - I am deeply flattered by such a kind post.
From my perspective - yes: care, thought and proper planning really are keys. But if the girls aren't enjoying themselves - because they don't feel that their preferences / limits / 'foibles' are being respected - then I wouldn't enjoy the scene myself. So I guess there's a degree of self-interest (and with some girls, self-preservation!) involved in it, too!
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