Party Play

Yes, I know it's been a while, life rather got in the way. When life gets busy, both the inclination and the time to blog rather go out the window.

I've eventually got round to putting pen to paper because I've been wondering about how, and why my style of play has changed. When I first started this journey, getting on for four years ago, my play for the first year or so was only ever in private. I didn't really know enough people in the wider scene to attend parties. That changed at the beginning of 2009 and I started attending, and playing at many parties. I was often the one who would end up being that little bit too cheeky, and be dragged upstairs by all and sundry to be taught a tongue in cheek lesson.

Over the last 10 months or so that's changed. While I'm still playing privately (though not nearly as often as I'd like, the joy of a job where I'm often not in the country) I'm finding it hard to play at parties. I'd like to say first of all that this isn't anything to do with any of the people I've played with. I'm lucky in that I have fantastic people that I can play with, both in private and at parties. There's been no horrible incident that's put me off playing. I'm just more reluctant to play at parties.

I think a lot of it comes down to stress. For various reasons, mostly work related, I have been quite stressed over the last year or so. I've found stress to be one of the biggest factors in lowering my pain threshold, and I think this is where the problem lies:
Lower pain threshold = spankings hurting more = more likelihood of tears, and tears are not a good thing at parties. Tears are fine when playing in private, as long as your play partner is ok with them. Tears at parties are not so good. Especially the sort of tears I often cry. The nasty horrible, losing control, red eyes, runny nose type.

And I suppose there we have the heart of the matter. I'm scared of losing control in a situation where I then have to go downstairs and face people. I'm scared that what would have one felt like a playful spanking will feel so much harder and so much more difficult to cope with.

What I really ought to do is just try it, and see what happens. If I do break down in tears, maybe I just save the play for private, but the chances are, that me being me, I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill and will actually be fine!

Knicker Survey

Inspired by a conversation on Twitter today, I'd like to survey the number on knickers people possess, to see whether the general feeling on twitter, that most kinky girls have silly amounts of knickers, is in fact correct. I've included guys, just in case you have a view on this *very* important topic.

Of course, to make this even vaguely scientifically worthy, I'd need to go and survey non kinky people as well, to see whether there is a statistically variation in knicker possession between the two groups. Or something like that. But I'm not about to start asking vanilla friends questions about their knickers, so here we go, my utterly unscientific survey:

Knicker Survey

How many pairs of knickers do you have? I'm a woman and I have over 200 pairs I'm a woman and I have between 100 and 200 pairs I'm a woman and I have between 50 and 100 pairs I'm a woman and I have between 20 and 50 pairs I'm a woman and I have under 20 pairs I'm a man and I have over 200 pairs I'm a man and I have between 100 and 200 pairs I'm a man and I have between 50 and 100 pairs I'm a man and I have between 20 and 50 pairs I'm a man and I have under 20 pairs Current Results

The People I Play With

This past couple of months have seen me playing rather more than the previous couple of months (and possibly some months before that!) Some scenes are very short, lasting minutes at most, some far longer, two or three hours. As I was thinking over some of these scenes it struck me just how varied the styles of the various people I play with are.

There are great role players - imaginative, and able to create and see through believable scenes, sometimes over extended periods of time.

There are the people who are downright mean, and who don't particularly care that they are, in a rather hot way.

There are people who are give the most gentle and caring spankings, that make you feel warm and glowy. Yes, glowy's a word. My blog, my words!

There are those people with whom I can be really submissive, though even then that manifests itself in different ways with different people, depending on their styles.

There are people who can deliver perfect floggings, ones that leave me so spaced out I can barely talk.

There are people with whom there was instant chemistry, which the passing of time doesn't seem to diminish.

There are the ones where spankings are just downright fun, lighthearted things to be played with, inducing smiles and laughter.

There are the ones who let me spank them, and who will probably give far better than they get in return.

There are the ones who are willing to see me cry, to push me to that and let me have that release.

There are the ones who I could talk all night with instead of playing, because we are friends beyond spanking.

A lot of people are combinations of several of these.

How lucky am I that I can have all that variety, and so many different experiences?

Pretty darn lucky, if you ask me.

Raindrops On Roses....

Etc. etc.
Well, I'm always going on about what I *don't* like, so I thought for once I'd think about some of my favourite things!

So what do I like when it comes to all things spanking?

I like nice, long hand spankings with lots of build up and rubbing of cheeks.
I like straps that thud but don't sting.
I like floggings. Soft ones. Hard ones. Ones that wake me up. Ones that send me into a wonderful stupor. Ones that involve parts of me other than my bottom. In fact I love floggings.
I like being embarrassed with people I trust.
I like being made to cry. Some days I just really, really need that.
I like my head being messed with a little bit in a scene.
I like the relationship that builds up over time when you play with someone, how trust deepens to allow you to play in more intense ways.
I like that there are certain women that I rather enjoy whacking, and who also, and more importantly, let me whack them!

Most of all, I love the fact that I have such a fabulous network of friends who are there with spankings, love, support and friendship.

The Spanking Collection

Today is an exciting day. No, not the end of August. Believe me, that's depressing, not exciting for summer lovers like me! No, the exciting thing is the release of The Spanking Collection.

This new collection of stories, which have all been written exclusively for this project and contributed for free by their authors, is being sold in aid of Cancer Research UK, to whom all profits go.

I have to confess that I've had an advanced copy of the book for several weeks, having written the introduction for it, but I've not actually read any of the stories yet, as I wanted to wait until I could get an actual, real life copy of the book to read! Happily, that day has now arrived, and I, along with the rest of you, can get both print and electronic copies of The Spanking Collection. If you follow the link here, you will be able to see a full list of the stories and their authors, plus information on where you can get hold of the paperback version and Kindle, Nook and other ebook reader versions.

So go ahead and treat yourself to some original stories from some of the most interesting writers of spanking fiction out there, and do some good at the same time. It's a win/win situation, if you ask me!

A Little Ray Of Hope

I went to a lovely housewarming party yesterday. Lots of friends, great hospitality, yummy food and fabulous costumes. I was honoured to be there. I was also very happy that I seemed to be more chilled about playing. Though my birthday party a few weeks ago was lovely, I was very stressed about playing and being spanked and ended up worrying myself far more than I needed to about the whole prospect. When I did end up playing it was fine.

This time, I was pleasantly surprised that I wasn't actually worried about the prospect of play. I maybe wasn't at the point of desperately wanting to be spanked, but I also wasn't sitting in the corner with a knot of worry in my stomach, hoping that people would *not* want to play with me. And that in itself, in the context of the last couple of months, is something of a breakthrough. I ended up playing three times in total. All brief scenes, but no less enjoyable for that. And I also had a rather nice dream that night where I had a great idea for a role play. I think my kink is on the way back, so hopefully by the next party, in another month, I'll be on top form and wanting to be beaten by everybody in the room!

Birthday Presents

My birthday was last week. I decided to have another birthday party, a repeat of last years shenanigans, and lots of very lovely friends came to help me celebrate. And, being the lovely people that they are, they did something that they really didn't need to do, and bring presents. Some of them were very nice (pretty, or yummy, or indulgent!) non kinky presents, and some were rather less suitable for showing to my mother, as you can see below.

First, and these are in no particular order, a beautiful razor strop from Abel and Haron. This is a genuine razor strop, sold as such from a non kinky vendor (well, in theory!), and it's actually really quite lovely. It can be a little vicious, but is mostly really rather nice!

The next present is absolutely amazing. It is a double strap from the wonderful, talented London Tanner. The strap has my initials on one side, and holes on the other. It's also fantastic to use, says me, with an evil grin on my face. I didn't have it used that much on myself as my kink was still a wee bit in hiding, though it did start to come back during the evening. Now it's back a bit more I can't wait to experience it more thoroughly!

This next one is a "present" from the (delightful?) Irelynn Logeen. It's a giant wooden spoon. Next to it, you can see my size 8 flip flop. (that's US size 10, or EU size 42, just so you know!). The spoon bit itself is wider than my shoe. The handle is probably three feet long. I personally think that someone should be punished long and hard for giving anyone a present like that!

Lastly, the (normally nice!) Mr Allen gave me a carpet beater... which stings like a very, very stingy thing. With friends like these and all that :-D

I think the showpiece of the whole day though, was the cake made for me by the wonderful Ella. I can't remember when I last had a birthday cake, so her offer to make me one was special in itself, but I was blown away when I saw the actual cake. A caned bottom, complete with stripes which are darker on the left side than the right side. It was a work of art, and everybody loved it. It seemed a shame to cut it, but we did anyway, and it was as tasty as it was beautiful.

Thank you to everyone, both those who could be there and those who couldn't, for wonderful company, copious amount of alcohol (anyone who tries to bring beer into my house until the last lot has gone will be forced to stand in the porch and drink it all!), and generous and lovely presents which you really didn't need to bring, but which were very much appreciated nevertheless.

Here's to next year!