Saturday, 28 February 2009

Not In The Mood

Work is a little bit crazy at the moment. I'm working longer hours than I've worked in a while, and things are pretty intense. So when Tuesday evening came round, and it was time to meet up with a friend for some play, I seriously considered backing out. I was very, very tired, and I wasn't entirely sure I was in the mood for spanking fun. However, I also know that sometimes when I'm tired, ratty and stressed, a spanking, whether I'm in the mood for it or not, will help me let go of some of that tension and crappiness and put myself in a better frame of mind.

So off I went to meet up with said friend, and some spanking was had, but the thing I realised pretty much as soon as we started was that not only was I tired, ratty and stressed, but my tolerance was way down and I really wasn't in the mood to take very much at all. We played for a while, probably 15 minutes or so, and, if I remember rightly, he used his hand, a ruler, a strap of some sort and a flogger. Possibly not in that order! (Just as an aside, I LOVE floggers. If I had to nominate anything for all time favourite implement it would without doubt be my flogger. Yum.) Anyway, it was pretty clear after that 15 minutes that I was done for the evening. We spent the next hour chatting about the world, kink, everything, which was lovely. I'm glad that I have friends that I can have fun with but also have intelligent conversation with, because, much as I love spanking, conversation makes the world go round.
I'm worried though. Work is not likely to get any less insane before June, which is when the project I'm running is due to finish. Does that mean I'm going to be tired, ratty, stressed, and have no tolerance up until June?! I hope not. I can only cope with the first three if I can have a damn good spanking every once in a while to help me let some of that stress out!

Friday, 27 February 2009

Naughty HTML Code

A web page I was trying to use yesterday didn't seem to be quite working correctly, showing some of the background code on the page. Including this line:

Strips and lashes?! Or maybe it should be Stripes and Lashes? At any rate, it's a all a bit kinky if you ask me. Obviously created by some pervy coder. Tut!

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

How You Know It's Past Your Bedtime...

When you are in the supermarket and see a packet of "Easily Spankable Butter" and take far too long to realise it ACTUALLY says "Easily Spreadable Butter", it's probably time to head home to bed.

Sunday, 22 February 2009

Desert Island Punishments

I had the misfortune to stumble across the rather dire UK TV show "Shipwrecked" as I was channel hopping the other day. The format is that a group of supremely annoying twenty-somethings are dumped on two desert islands, and the two island "tribes" compete to eventually win some money, or be famous, or something. I'm fuzzy on the details. Anyway, the teams have to build all their shelters and so on, and I just happened to turn on just when two of the annoying people, who seemed to be in charge that week, said the following.

"We need some more things building, and the worst builder will be punished. And it will be a severe punishment." Oooo err :-)

I wonder what a severe punishment might consist of? I would imagine desert islands are full of possibilities - there must be lots of foliage that can be used. If you've got rope you could tie the punishee to a handy tree. You can probably have a fair degree of privacy, given that you are on a desert island... All in all it sounds like it could be fun.

Now all I need to figure out is who I want to be shipwrecked with. Oh, and how I manage to get myself shipwrecked on an island with a nice bathroom, decent food, no bugs, a nice comfy bed to sleep in, a large library and a place to charge my ipod.

Saturday, 21 February 2009


I have NO discipline - seriously - I'm terrible, especially when it comes to spanking, and especially when it comes to holding position... "Don't move" seems straight forward enough, as do "don't you dare move", "don't even think about moving" and all the other variations on the that theme that I hear. Can't do it though. If I'm in any sort of position that enables me to stand up, there's a 75% chance that I will after pretty much every stroke. Either that or my knees buckle and crouch down!
I so admire those of you who say that you take spankings without moving your legs or sometimes without even making a sound - seriously, how do you do it?!
You obviously just have a lot more self discipline than me. I wonder if there's a shop where you can buy some?

Thursday, 19 February 2009


I want to learn to belt... no, not that sort of belting you bunch of perves ;-) I may be a bossy cow, but I have no real desire to top. No, this is vocal belting, a singing technique which allows you to sing higher notes in your range with more power behind them (simplistically). It's a commonly used technique in musical theatre and pop singing, but not really in classical or choral singing, and this is where I start to have issues. I spent the first 30 years of my life (well, from the age of 6 or so), doing choral singing, usually of classical pieces. There is a certain tone you need to achieve to blend with the choir, and so I never learnt techniques like belting, and now they are very alien to everything I was originally taught about singing. I'd love to have a natural belt, but sadly I don't, so I'm trying to learn.
However, this, like so many other things, is where my intellect gets in the way. Belting is not easy, and it can also damage your voice if you do it wrong. Also, it's not a sound that I was brought up to think was "nice". I was having a lesson the other week, and doing a new exercise. As we were moving up the scale, I suddenly realised what was happening, and promptly shut up. When questioned as to WHY I'd stopped singing, I told my singing teacher it was because I realised what she was trying to do, i.e. get me to belt. She replied that I *was* belting, I was doing it fine, and why on earth did I stop.

Of course the reason is that my head intervened. I found myself doing something that I have told myself I can't do, and so I had to stop because I can't do it. If that makes ANY sort of sense... My head can be a frustrating thing to deal with. It often tells me something very similar when I'm being spanked. Intellectually I "know" that I won't be able to take something, therefore I have a great deal of trouble taking it. It's all about visualisation, as my teacher often tells me. If I visualise myself failing that is inevitably what will happen.
So I'm hoping if I manage to get over my block about belting, I might "get better" at being spanked.

Wednesday, 18 February 2009


A couple of weeks ago I met with a friend for a quick play session. Very quick as we were basically shoe-horning time into our respective insane schedules. He's a lovely friend, and we had a fun time, but several times I found myself wiggling, pouting, complaining about him being too hard, etc, and, because he is such a lovely person, I was being allowed to get away with it. I mean, if someone tells you not to rub, and you rub 10 seconds later, you expect them to do something about it, no?
Yes, I was probably bratting, and yes, I was probably doing that dreaded no-no, "topping from the bottom", but I suppose I was really just testing, and seeing if he would, well, dominate me.
As I'm sure most of my regular readers will have guessed by now, I can be a little feisty when I want to, so I really need people I play with to not let me get away with that rubbish!
I suppose what I need, once in a while, is to be dominated. I'm the dominant, bossy one generally, and I don't naturally submit very easily. I have to be forced into it, and for me, the real kick comes when someone does take control, and take the upper hand, ignores all my whinging and whining, and does bring out that submissive streak in me.
That's not too much to ask is it?!

Monday, 16 February 2009

Behind The Eyes

Sitting in a somewhat boring work meeting today, my mind drifted off to various places. It driften back to holiday, to thoughts of a friend who recently passed away, and, inevitably, to kinky things. Thoughts of the all the lovely kinky people, new friends and less new ones, who I met over the weekend, thoughts of spankings past and spankings to come, thoughts of my blog. Then my mind wandered to the other people in the room. It was quite a passive meeting - one person presenting, the rest listening. They all looked as though they were paying attention, but then I probably did too. So what was going on in their minds? Behind their eyes? Were they thinking about the school run? Dinner? Their next holiday? Or maybe their thoughts were closer to mine.
Maybe, among the other six or so people in the meeting, someone else was having equally naughty thoughts... I'd love to know which person it was!

Sunday, 15 February 2009

The Tidy Gene

Once in a while I wish I was a little bit less, well, me! I went to a party last night, had lots of fun and got back far too late. All I wanted to do was to crash into bed there and then. Unfortunately I couldn't even reach the bed, as the forty plus pairs of shoes that live under it had been pulled out before I went out last night, in an attempt to find the particular pair of brown sandals I was looking for. And naturally they did not get put back under the bed again.
When I had cleared those out the way and reached the bed, the next obstacle was the massive pile of underwear lying there. You see, it was a fancy dress party, and I was going as a Roman lady, in a rather see-through dress, so I needed to find white knickers. Without "sexy cow" or "grumpy but gorgeous" or candy canes all over them. A year ago this would have been easy, as about 80% of my knickers were white cotton or black cotton BORINGNESS. Now of course, they have been consigned to the very bottom of the drawer, but trying to find them meant getting out every other pair that I owned first. And not putting them away again...
Once the underwear was gone, I then needed to clear away the make-up - all two bags full of it that had been emptied onto the bed looking for a particular eyeshadow.
So after 20 minutes of clearing up, I could eventually get into bed for a well-deserved sleep full of lovely, kinky dreams.
But I wish I hadn't had to wait that extra 20 minutes. Why did I not inherit the tidyness gene from my mother?

Saturday, 14 February 2009

Startle Of The Holiday

A father to his twenty-something daughter:
"So, how many strokes is it?"
It took me a few moments to realise that I hadn't stumbled into one of Abel's daydreams by accident!
Of course, the father was asking his daughter how many strokes it took to swim the length of the pool, not how many strokes of the cane she had accumulated. Or at least, I assume that's what he was asking...

Friday, 13 February 2009

The earth is moving...

But not in a good way. I'm back from holiday, and had a lovely time, but after 12 hours of travelling, compromising a bus, a ferry, two more buses, a plane, a taxi and a car, I'm sitting on the sofa and the world is gently swaying, and I'm feeling rather ill. It's a good thing no-one is asking me to bend over right now as I think I would topple right over onto my head...!
I'm sure I will bore you all more with tales of sunshine in days to come, but right now I'm off to locate my heating switch, as it's about 20 degrees Celsius colder here than where I've just come from!

Thursday, 5 February 2009

Cross Your Fingers!

Cross your fingers for me please... I'm going on holiday today. Well, I'm driving to the airport tonight and flying tomorrow. But the reason I need you to cross your fingers is that it has snowed AGAIN! And, being how we are rubbish with the snow in this country the roads I need to use to get to work have not been gritted. Well, I exaggerate, probably about a mile and a half will remain ungritted. A mile and a half of hilly roads. Nice. So I will be working from home, and hoping against hope that the four inches of snow here melts really quickly, so I can drive to the airport.
My reaching the airport will not be the end of your task though, oh no. Because even though the airport is clear of snow and operating well today, snow is forecast in that area tomorrow morning. Arghh!!!
So there are two outcomes here - either you won't see any postings from me for a week, in which case I've made it to sunnier climes OR there will be some seriously peed off postings, and you lot will be getting the blame for not crossing your fingers with enough conviction :-D

Monday, 2 February 2009

Stupid Snow

The south-east of England has had the worst snow today for 18 years. Which has rejoiced the hearts of many people. Pretty much every child in the land had the day off school today. (Hey, this only happens once every two decades, we are rubbish at coping with it!) Millions of people stayed home from work, or "worked from home", and thousands of kinky and non-kinky couples rejoiced in a day spent in each others company, getting up to naughty things. (I imagine. They may have been working, but seriously, why would you?!)

Except me. I'm just sulking. I had tentatively arranged to meet up with a friend for a bit of spanky fun. But of course it SNOWED. And the snow that meant I couldn't safely leave the house meant that he couldn't safely get here either. So I'm unspanked and unamused.

To all of those of you out there who had a snow day and get to spend it having some hanky-spanky fun, I hate you, just a little bit ;-)

Sunday, 1 February 2009

A new book

I was innocently browsing in my local bookshop this weekend, picking up various books for purchase, when the title of one caught my eye. Just there, on the shelf in the normal fiction section:
Sadomasochism For Accountants
Before you could say "um, excuse me, do my eyes deceive me?!" it had joined my other purchases on the pile.
I've not read it yet, but here's what the synopsis on Amazon said:

A highly original debut novel from a brilliant young Edinburgh writer. When thirty-eight-year-old pale and uninteresting Paula is dumped by her long-term accountant boyfriend Alan, she decides that drastic measures must be taken. Spying on Alan and his new, younger girlfriend Belinda isn't getting her anywhere and a surprise 'artistic' appearance in their flat only results in a restraining order. So Paula decides it is time to lose her boring image and spice up her sex life thanks to an ill thought out boast to Alan about her wild new horizons, she finds herself in front of the not particularly tasteful red velvet drapes of Liscious; the local S&M Club. Once inside she finds a strange kind of comfort in the support of her new friends including Luda the transvestite, Dave her adoring sidekick, Gretchen the kind hearted Dominatrix, her wannabe minion Slave Boy and the mysterious, and otherwise naked, Man in the Mask. When the group decide to pool their talents to help bring Alan and Paula back together a hilarious adventure ensues, involving love, bondage, painful misunderstandings, James Bond and an oddly eloquent tree.

I'm going on holiday next week. That will be at the top of my reading pile!