Tuesday 13 July 2010

An Update (Or Not)

Dear Reader/Random Passer-by/Russian Spy *

Many apologies that this blog/totally truthful account of life/secret private diary has not been updated recently.

This is because I have been busy watching the world cup/fraternising with the enemy/being spanked repeatedly/overdosing on chocolate.

In the event that you care that this blog/account/diary has not been updated recently, please rest assured that it will be updated as soon as I have pruned the roses/oiled my canes/rescued a stray sheep/investigated a secret spy ring/stalked George Clooney. Unless of course, I get bored/a cold/whisked off to sunnier climes/arrested.

We thank you for your continued loyalty/monetary donations/silence.

The Writer.

* Please delete as appropriate.

8 comments:

Rebecca said...

Loves it

EmmaJane said...

I want a full refund, or else payment in kind!

;-)

Irelynn Logeen said...

Lol! I wouldn't mind if you kept writing blog posts like these. Even though Rebecca now put Paris Hilton in my head, which isn't what I want to have on my brain when I'm supposed to go to bed. ;-)

indy said...

OMG, you've learned CorporateSpeak! Love the parody thereof!

Sarah said...

I'm most concerned for the stray sheep, what will happen if you get a cold before rescuing it?

sixofthebest said...

Talking of that beautiful Russian female spy that was caught. I would do a James Bond solution. Take her over my knee, pull up her dress, take down her panties, and give that tender bare bottom of hers, a good painfull spanking. Then send her back to 'Russia with Love'.

Abel1234 said...

No, comrade: you forgot the secret code. It's supposed to be, "I have been busy watching George Clooney spank a sheep. And you?"

Anonymous said...

Do you take bribes?