Wednesday, 27 October 2010


A conversation the other day led me to ponder the nature of "drop". It's sort of an accepted part of what we do, but it's not often something we talk about, or at least that I remember having many conversations about.
As I've talked about before, I always used to think that I couldn't "get" drop, as I didn't seem to get those endorphin highs that some people have, and drop was all about the come down from the endorphin high.

Over time I've realised that whether or not I experience an endorphin high (and that question is still open to debate) I most certainly do experience drop after playing. For me it's very much an emotional reaction, and can vary from feeling a bit down the day after I've played, to full blown emotional meltdown, tears, depression, the works. It's generally linked to the intensity of a scene - the more intense something is, the worse the drop, and things like weekend role plays or weekends away with friends have the biggest effect. I become very emotionally vulnerable when it's over, and I'm "coming down" from all my fun. And I may well stay like that for a good couple of days. Being able to distract myself with other things will sometimes help, though not always. In a Harry Potter dementor sort of a way chocolate helps. Talking through experiences with friends who shared them also helps, but isn't always possible. Sometimes I just need to go with it and wallow.

For me, nasty though it is, drop is the price I pay for the fun I have, and it's a price that I'm willing to pay. At least for now. Who knows, I may decide in the future that I can't cope with the aftermath anymore.

I'm interested to hear what other people think about drop, (and I fully acknowledge that it's not just a phenomenon that affects bottoms, tops get drop too). Do you suffer from drop? Is it an acceptable price to pay? How much is too much? Does experiencing drop afterwards take away from the enjoyment of playing in the first place? What do you do to combat the drop? Feel free to share your thoughts.


Harriet said...

I definitely have it, and it pisses me off. I thought for a while that I was sort of self-inducing it, by expecting it to happen. Until it snuck up on me, like a period, and I realised that I was feeling shit, and didn't know why. Then I realised it was two days after an intense scene, and it must therefore be drop. (It's always two days, never the next day).

I agree with you though, that it's an acceptable price to pay! I wish I'd read this before I wrote the entry I've just posted. Because I've just clicked that the reason I haven't been playing is probably because some part of my subconscious has known that inviting a drop when I'm already exhausted, overworked and emotional is a bad plan. So yes, actually, sometimes it's too big a price.

Wow, that was long and incoherent - sorry!


Abel1234 said...

I certainly experience 'drop', although as a top, I don't see it as being chemical (endorphins), more just the inevitable mental re-adjustment to being back in the boring vanilla world, after the highs of wonderful kinky play.

Take this week. I'm stuck in a far-from-wonderful (albeit supposedly 4*) hotel on a commercial development outside Milan. There's nowhere decent to eat (yes, one night I did go to McD's). And certainly, on Monday/Tuesday, I felt very low - contrasting being here on my own with the enjoyment of a wonderful weekend with Emma Jane.

Is that kink-related, some sort of special experience we get having played and had fun? I think not. I think, for me, it's just the contrast between fun vs. the mundane, between being with loved ones vs. travelling alone, between having time for me vs. having to travel and earn money, between the comforts and familiarity of home / England vs. the unknown /uncertainties of being abroad.

But OMG, the drop is a price worth paying for the highs...

bandree said...

Well, it must be worth it or we would never play again!! But yes, i do take a steep tumble after heavy play and as Harriet says, it's often on the second day. i find too that if the setting had been very emotional, intense or sexual, then the "recoil" is much worse than from merely playing-at-spanking, however hard. And i think it IS partly chemical, sometimes you hardly know why you are crashing and then remember the severe play that went before. But yes, it's worth it!

Irelynn Logeen said...

I get it too. I used to think that for me, what with being alone for so long, it was a natural part of suddenly being surrounded by people all the time, and then suddenly being alone again. As you said, just coming down from all the fun I had that weekend. And I think there's some truth in that; I feel it too when I've not played at all during that weekend, though perhaps not as much.

For me, I just wallow in self pity for a few hours, perhaps watch a feel-good movie or eat something I really like, and then just get on with life. I've not ever experienced it lasting for more than one or two days, so perhaps I'm lucky in that aspect. But as for the "is it worth it" question: definitely! With the highs come the lows is what I've always been told. It is the way it is, and I wouldn't want to miss out on all the good stuff just because it might make me feel a bit sad and tearful after. :-)

Scarlett De Winter said...

Abel- there is *nothing* wrong with McDonalds.

I definately get it. More when I've been being submissve as opposed to being a bottom (which for me a very different.)

I think it can be a little of both, on the endorphins vs anticlimax thing. When I was nannying I used to get it a lot worse because I hated my job so much. Going back to work on a Monday morning after an amazing weekend was seriously painful.

It's an interesting question, one I'd like to give more thought to, but sadly I've got to go to my bikini wax!

Anonymous said...