I was chatting to a friend earlier on today. She isn't kinky but knows that I am. We were talking about various things and got onto the subject of how our inhibitions have held us back over the years, and have also held back several of our friends.
We all come from quite similar backgrounds. We are middle class, from stable homes. None of us were brought up "in religion", but we all have what could probably be called "strong moral values". Of course, there are many different sets of strong moral values. No doubt cannibals have a set of strong values that they hold to. I'm sure you can imagine, though, the sort of values that I'm talking about. Nice girls don't drink too much. Nice girls don't smoke. Nice girls don't swear. Nice girls are polite. Nice girls don't think mean thoughts about others. Nice girls have sensible relationships with nice men, don't sleep around, eventually marry, and have nice babies. Nice girls should be, well, nice. All of which is fine, don't get me wrong, but often makes for rather screwed up adults. Which, to be frank, all of my friends are to some degree, because hey, those values are damn hard to live up to.
But, and forgive the pity party, I contend that it's even worse for me with my kink. When you get to the stage where you can't just feel free to be who you want, see who you want, do what you want, just be your true self, at least for some part of the time... that's when it's time to re-evaluate some of those "strong moral values", and what they actually bring to our lives.
It's taken me a hell of a long time to allow myself to be OK with my spanking desires, because, well, nice girls don't do things like that. There are very few things I regret in my life, but I think that not allowing myself to be who I truly am for so long is probably the biggest one. I've eventually realised that if I want to live my life in a way that doesn't meet with 'the Nice Girl Rule Book' what does it really matter? So I'm making up my own rule book now:
1) Don't put yourself in danger
2) Don't be stupid
3) Don't hurt other people
4) Be true to yourself
That should cover most bases, right?
It just might take me a while longer to tell my mother I won't be bringing home Mr Nice anytime soon!!
1 hour ago
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6 comments:
Eliane, after nearly sixty years of kink-dom I can assure you that nice girls do. :D
They may not tell their parents, but............
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Lol, thank you Paul, and a belated Happy Birthday for yesterday. I hope you had a lovely day!
Aren't I going to meet you mum? Disappointed....
George:
1) Love your modesty in assuming you're Mr Nice ;-)
2) Yes, I'll absolutely introduce you to my Mother. "Hi Mum, this is the guy who spanks my butt. Oh, didn't I tell you I'm a kinky little wench?!" (And a sarcastic one!)
I understand -- I grew up with the whole "nice girls don't" mindset as well -- and it has really messed me up. And I'm still working my way through it...
Love your rules -- I think they make a pretty good guide for life.
Robin
Hey Robin, yup, "Nice Girls don't" should be banned words!!! And yes, I'm quite pleased with the rules, feel free to steal them ;-)
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