Blogiversary

Amazingly, another has passed. I've now been blogging for two whole years, which is quite impressive, for me at any rate.

It has to be said that my poor blog has been a little neglected the past few months. Witnessed by the fact that in year one, I posted 216 posts, in year two, 172. And since January, I've only posted 54 times. Ah well. Poor blog!

By sheer coincidence, I'm celebrating in quite a special way. As we speak, Casey Morgan is on her way from the airport to stay with me for a couple of days. Yay!

Trying to figure out how much I had posted this year and last, I ended up reading through quite a lot of old posts, and had some nice surprises. Things that I'd forgotten about, thoughts I'd had, scenes I'd played. When I have time I'm going to go back and see if I can pick out a couple of particular favourites, but for now, I'm going to ask you: Is there any post in particular that you've really liked over the past couple of years? (And if no one answers, I'll take that as a sign!)

Lighthearted?

Reading Emma Jane's post from the weekend, many thoughts and feelings struck me. I'll admit that a certain amount of awe was one of the thoughts. Emma Jane plays much more deeply than I ever could. She surrenders herself to a role, a situation, to the pain, in a way that I don't even think I could begin to reproduce. I've never witnessed her going into her deepest moments, but even reading about it scares me a little bit. I'm not sure I could actually see my friend in that state, even if on an intellectual level I know that this is what she wants, and trust the people that she is playing with. The few times we have played scenes together (that were much less intense than this), the hardest part was watching her reactions, hearing her pain and knowing I was a cause of it. I genuinely don't think I would cope with being a witness to or cause of something worse.

There was another feeling that I had though, and that was jealousy. Obviously not jealousy of that level of intense pain, or even intense role play, but jealousy of something being that "real". It made me realise that the last time I played in situations that really got to my head, where I was forced to submit, was back in January/February time, and I'm starting to miss that. It's not that I haven't been spanked (and strapped, and caned, and birched!) in the meantime. I have. I've also roleplayed, and it's all been fun, but I think that even though some of the people I've played with in these last few months are the sort of people I've played deeper, more intense (my level of intense!) scenes with before, the sort of play that has been happening since the new year has mostly been fun, lighthearted, not really headspacey.
Which is good, as that's what I really needed. As I'm sure you've all realised from my blog the past six months or so have been stressful for me. I've not always felt up to playing at all, and had a good two month (if not more) period where the whole idea was a bit of a turn off. So I would not have been ready in these last few months to play at any level more than "lighthearted". The fact that I'm starting to crave that sort of play where I'm made to submit makes me think that I am now ready again for that.
Which is a bit of a bugger, really, as I'm about to get (if it's actually possible!) even busier. So finding time for "real" play, as opposed to fun, lighthearted play, will get even more difficult.
I suspect there is no solution to this. I need someone on tap, ready at a moment's notice, able to fit into my schedule when I want to play. Which is a little unrealistic ;-) The only viable solution for this would be to actually go through with getting that man in the shed. You know, the one who's going to do my gardening and insect removal. I'll make sure he's a damn good top as well, and ready to spank me at a moment's notice.
That'll work, right?

Playing In Public

Haron wrote a post a couple of weeks ago about public play, i.e. being spanked in a room where others are not playing, but just socialising. She asked what people's feelings were towards this sort of public play – Embarrassed? Indifferent? She said that she sometimes feels as though she's imposing on people in scenarios like this.

It made me start thinking about that scenario in particular, and public play in general. Eighteen months or so, the idea of public play would have completely freaked me out. I had only ever been spanked in private, me and the person doing the spanking. If anyone had suggested that I widen that group of people who could see my bottom, I probably would have sprinted several miles in the opposite direction. I also wasn't that comfortable with the idea of seeing other people being spanked.

In March, that “one-on-one-only” mentality changed when I was spanked by two people at once, but it wasn't until the early summer of 2009 that I actually started going to events where a) I would see other people getting spanked and b) other people would see me getting spanked. Having always been somewhat on the shy, retiring side, especially when it comes to my body, I was very surprised to find that I actually wasn't that bothered about people being able to see me getting spanked. That has persisted to this day. If I'm with a group of people who will not be surprised to see a girl being spanked in the corner, then I really don't have a problem with being that girl. I generally also don't feel as though I'm imposing on anyone or forcing them to watch my spanking. The times when I'm in a group situation where a spanking might happen, that exact possibility is pretty much taken for granted. It surprises no one, and I would imagine if anyone felt truly uncomfortable with watching, they would either remove themselves from the situation or would not have attended the event in the first place.

I do find it strange though, how I could have gone from being so shy, to being basically pretty much indifferent to being upended in public! Well, that's a little disingenuous; I do still get a little mortified, but not really enough for it to stop me misbehaving ;-) More interesting though are the things that I still do find embarrassing. Don't ever threaten me with a public spanking, public as in outside, where non-kinky people might see. I'd probably hurt you in some unspecified way before fleeing. That one is a hard limit for me.

The other thing that I still can find incredibly embarrassing is undressing when I'm just playing one on one with someone. Even partially undressing, just taking off my knickers, in the right circumstances, with the right language, can make me more embarrassed than being spanked in a group ever could. Strange, isn't it?

Jemima's Plea For More Knickers

Dear Grandmother and Grandfather,

How are you both? Another term is passing swiftly at Lowewood. The weather continues to be fine, which means we can enjoy the beautiful school gardens at break times. Of course we have to be careful that we don't step on Mr Fingerham's carefully tended beds, but apart from that we can enjoy the clement weather.

I am sure you will both be delighted to hear that my grades are continuing to improve. Mr Shaftebotham was delighted with my rousing speech in English the other day. We had been studying the use of rhetorical devices, and I employed many to wonderful effect when arguing for the abolition of restrictions on our internet access. I think he was very pleased with my good showing.

We have also started learning Chinese, and I am finding it very interesting, though I feel the teaching methods of Dr Billeslaan are somewhat unusual. He insists when we are learning to write the Chinese characters that caning us in an appropriate manner (e.g. one rule is “horizontal strokes before vertical ones”) will help us remember. I really fail to understand his logic, myself.

Grandmother, I'm afraid you will need to send me more knickers. Miss Marwood keeps confiscating them and giving them to Mr Fingerham to burn. The latest pair you sent me were the correct shade of blue, but you may not have seen the “Supergirl” logo on the rear. Unfortunately Miss Marwood did, in detention. She had already made us take our skirts off, and when she saw my knickers, she was very cross, as they had been the cause of much hilarity during uniform inspection that morning, but she had not seen what we were laughing at. So she made me remove my knickers as well, and would not give them back. I was quite naked from the waste down, it was awfully embarrassing. Despite her undue (she paddled AND caned us!) for really quite a minor issue (it was only a little party that we had in the dorm with the local boys football team!) I still quite like Miss Marwood. She seems quite fair.

Well, letter writing time is at an end, so I will bid you goodbye for this week, and send you both my fondest regards. Please also give my love to Mummy if you hear from her, and also if you do, please remind her that it is six weeks since she last wrote to me.
Oh, and please send new knickers!
Your loving granddaughter,
Jemima
x

Whoops...

To the person who stumbled across my blog using the search term "interesting sixth form Assembly", I really am very sorry indeed. Though it has to be said that I'm also giggling quite a lot. It's true that the Assembly in question was very interesting, but possibly not quite what the person had in mind.

Remember folks: the internet is a dangerous place. And porn can often be found on there. Don't say I didn't warn you.

On the subject of school, Jemima was there again last night, and hopefully there will be a post coming about her exploits soon, "soon" depending on how appealing Pimms and Lemonade in the sun is tonight.

A Tale Of Two Floggings

I love floggings. Love them. With big, heavy, thuddy floggers. So imagine my delight when we were hanging out in Indy's room on Sunday afternoon to find that she had bought a lovely thuddy flogger with her. We played a little bit, and she used it on me. Abel, Haron and Cath were in the next room, and I came out and made some remark about how I didn't think it was possible for anyone to ever make me go "ow" with a thuddy flogger. This, of course, was a challenge that Abel couldn't turn down. On the bed, with a pillow under me, he set out to prove that he could in fact make a thuddy flogger hurt. Six strokes later, I was more than convinced. I do somewhat object to his methods, though. I obviously couldn't see, but I have it on good authority that both feet left the floor as he jumped up to try and get as much weight behind the flogger as possible. Which, frankly, seems like cheating to me.

Sunday evening saw an entirely different flogging though. One guy at the party, P, is a very experienced flogger. He works double handed, with two floggers. Two thuddy floggers. To say that I was in heaven would have been something of an understatement. I'm not quite sure how long P was flogging me for, but I reckon it was probably at least twenty minutes. Twenty minutes of bliss... I don't think I've ever been as relaxed and zoned out as I was after that twenty minutes. So much so that I then fell asleep in the corner of the bigger room of the suite we were all in. A suite with probably at least 15 people in there. I sat spaced out/sleeping in that corner for a looong time. All through Catherine being tied down to a spanking bench and beaten very, very hard... I might have missed most of the action, but I saw the bruises afterwards so I know how hard it was! Normally if someone is being spanked in my vicinity I'm cringing in the corner, "ouching" as every stroke is being taken, barely able to look, but unable to drag my eyes away. So the fact that I could sit there and let the most incredible thrashing (at least from the last bits that I did see) all but wash over me, speaks volumes. I was still spaced out when I went back to my room at one in the morning.
So I've decided, sod massages, sod expensive days at the spa, sod a nice relaxing bottle of wine. The next time I'm *truly* in need of some relaxation I'm going to get me someone who's handy with a flogger or two. (Though possibly not Abel ;-) Sorry, Abel!)

FMS Part 1

I'm not sure I will be able to do a particularly coherent write up of the Florida Moonshine Party, and to be honest, any of my attempts will probably pale into comparison with those of Indy's, but I will try to at least give some impressions.

We arrived early Friday afternoon. I had driven the English contingent down to Tampa. They were on the most part well behaved. This may have been something to do with my threats to throw Abel to the alligators if he uttered a word out of turn on the drive. Or it may just have been because he was being nice!

As soon as we'd checked in, I called up to Indy's room, with not a small amount of trepidation. After all, here was a woman I'd been getting to know on line, chatting to practically every day since before Christmas. Would she live up to expectations? Of course she would! We headed up to her room, as she was going to come to the grocery store with us. I think the thing that struck me most within the first five minutes was just how, well, *Indy* she was... (Yeah, I know, big shock, she was like herself!)

She didn't take us to the best named store in the South, Pubix, oops, sorry, Publix, but to another one that was better. I did very well at not running around like a kid in a candy store and buying up the whole place, but rather only getting (mostly) what I had come for. Abel bought what he'd come for, plus a wooden spoon, proving once again that he shouldn't be allowed out, supervised or unsupervised.

That evening was the vendor fair. Unfortunately I wasn't feeling amazing, which was probably due to the fact that I'd only had a Casear salad for lunch, and it hadn't had any meat or fish, so was basically lettuce leaves and croutons. By 8pm I was wishing I'd eaten something a bit more substantial. Anyway, before Indy kindly took me and Catherine to get *actual* food, I browsed all the lovely implements at the fair and ended up buying this beautiful leather paddle from Leather Thorn Paddles:

Unfortunately, that was me pretty much done for Friday. When we came back to the hotel after dinner, I retired to bed at the embarrassingly early time of 10:30 pm.

Luckily, I was more on form on Saturday, and after breakfast and a walk along the beach, complete with my parasol, because I'm that English, it was time for the FMS Academy. Having decided to rebel by not wearing a black skirt, but a plaid one, wearing a T-shirt instead of a school shirt, and refusing to wear socks, I was actually genuinely upset to find out that the one pair of plain black knickers I'd bought, for school, had a ruddy great big whole in. I put on my next soberest pair, teal coloured, and earned myself 2 strokes of the ruler on the hand. Which was probably light going, given in how many ways I was violating the dress code. I also only came 6th from top in class; I forgot myself a few times and actually tried. I think Rad and Abel did a great job of teaching us as well, or at least not noticing too much that I was sucking on a lollipop.

That afternoon saw me being spanked with Indy, Catherine and a new friend. I, of course, was the wimpy butt of the group, and spent most of the time taking half as much as everyone else and ouching twice as much. After having watched everyone else taking the razor strop and saying that there was no way on earth I would be trying that, it seemed to amuse them all when I decided I'd try it once. And then again. And again... six times in the end!

The order of various events is now escaping me, but I think we may have reached Saturday evening, so I might pause here, and continue in the new post.

A Plea For Understanding

Ladies and Gentlemen, I want to bring to your attention a distressing problem that someone you know may suffer from. A problem that blights the lives of its victims, who should be given sympathy and understanding. This terrible affliction causes agony, mental anguish and pain for those poor souls, and its name is this: Cheekiness.

People who suffer from Cheekiness are often unfairly penalised because of the misunderstanding surrounding this illness. But what the public at large often fail to grasp is that Cheekiness is not, as often assumed, a choice, or something that the sufferer can control. Rather it is a compulsion. When the urge to be cheeky threatens to strike, there is nothing the afflicted person can do to stop the inevitable utterances, even in the most unfortunate situations. To punish or discriminate against them in any way for this behaviour is wrong. They know not what they do.

Take this scenario: A poor young woman, over someone's knee, being spanked. Would any sane, healthy person choose that time to comment disparagingly on some quality in their spanker? For instance their singing voice? Of course not! This is the act of someone who cannot help themselves.

Punishing these poor people harder is merely counterproductive and unhelpful. Instead, compassion and understanding should be shown. So the next time you encounter a cheeky remark, maybe from someone over you lap commenting on your inability to count, think to yourself:

"Do I want to discriminate against the afflicted?"

You know the right answer, my friends.

Taking To The Skies

When I first started reading blogs, about two and a half or three years ago, a lot of the first blogs that I read were by people in the US. And lots of them talked about the big parties they have over there. Things like Shadow Lane, Crimson Moon, Florida Moonshine. When I read these blogs, a secret part of me longed to be at those parties too, but it was never going to happen, of course. My spanking kink was a secret still at that time. I'd barely even admitted it to myself, never mind anyone else, so travelling abroad for a spanking party was a notion so ridiculous that it wasn't even worth laughing about.

Fast forward a couple of years and a massive amount of exploration later, and here I am, sitting in the BA Business Class Lounge (yes, smugness is revolting, I know, sorry), on my way to Florida Moonshine 2010. My first thought is "how did that happen?!" and my second is "it had better be good!" I have no real worries on that front. If nothing else, I get to meet the wonderful Indy in real life, plus a load of other great US people, so even if every single other aspect of the trip was horrible, that bit would be amazing! And I very much doubt that the other aspects will be horrible!

As you can probably tell, by the very existence of this post, I have the means for blogging with me, so I will endeavour, if I can rouse myself from the pool, to write a couple of posts about the party.

You never know, somewhere out there, there might be someone reading it and thinking "ha, I could never go to a big spanking party..." Just like I did.