Thursday, 9 September 2010

Eliane vs the Marshmallow

I'm stubborn, and I'm over competitive in many situations. These are two things I already know about myself, as do most people who've met me. But sometimes my level of stubbornness impresses even me.

The conversation started of something like this.
Him: “Do you want a marshmallow?” (Throwing the bag towards me)
Me: (As the marshmallows fall on the sofa) “No, you've tainted them!”
Him: “I bet I can get you to eat one.”
Me: “Oh, I bet you can't”.

And the minute those words were out of my mouth, I knew that was it. I knew that there was no way on this earth that I would be eating that damn marshmallow. Thus began an almighty battle of wills. He bent me over, put the stupid sweet in front of me, and started spanking me. I genuinely can't remember everything he used. There was the the flogger, the strap, the leather fly swat, two leather paddles, my thin wooden paddle, probably minimum 50 with the wooden spoon. I was unremittingly cheeky, for example when I wouldn't stay in position:

“Put your legs down”.
“And now put your top down”.
“I'm not a bloody convertible!"

I paid for that one...

But the longer we went on, the more convinced I became that there was no earthly way I was eating the fluffy white confection by my nose. This was because it was no longer a marshmallow. It was the symbol of all the crap at work, all the stress of rehearsals, all the idiocy over losing a crucial vehicle document. It was all of those, and as I stared it in the face as it sat there in front of me, I knew that there was no way that all that shit was getting the better of me. Eating it would have been the ultimate sign of defeat. I wasn't going to give into him, and I wasn't going to give into the stress.

And I stayed firm. Even when he got the cane out I stayed firm. I'm not sure how many strokes there were in total. It may have been 24. It was certainly 21. It was probably the closest I've ever come to being desperate for more of the cane. I willed each stroke to fall, proof that I was strong. I probably started crying after about six, but despite several opportunities, I still didn't eat the marshmallow. I welcomed the tears, and I welcomed the release of some of the tension I've been carrying around, but most of all I welcomed the fact that I could cry but still be strong, still not give in to him, to the marshmallow, to the idiots at work, to the insane schedule...
And in the end, the inevitable occurred.
He gave in.
I won.

I bet not many people can say they've been caned to tears over a marshmallow...


EmmaJane said...

I love this post, tells us more about you than anything else you've written. Of course most of which I knew already from real life you :)

And I can really empathise with how you felt. Ive been there, when taking all they have to give you and winning is just pure catarthis, so glad you experienced it tonight when it was much needed. Big hugs xxx

Master Retep said...

A couple of toasted marshmallows, and really pink ones at that.

Well done for getting rid of all the crap and hope you glide on peace and harmony to finish your week tomorrow.

Indy said...

I love this post, too, for the same reason that EJ does.

Also glad you got your fix after the last couple weeks. Hope you slept okay!

Kaelah said...

Eliane, what you write about stubbornness , competitiveness and the feeling of victory fits very well to my kink and kinky experiences! Only that the scenario you've described most probably would end in a disaster, if Ludwig tried it with me. The reason is that because of some experiences from the past I really hate the idea of someone or, even worse, a group of people trying to make me do something I don't want to do. I surely would react as stubborn as you did, but I wouldn't only concentrate my aggression and anger on the marshmallow, instead I would feel very angry upon Ludwig. In fact this is one of those situations where I can imagine to safeword very quickly, because I know that instead of feeling the kind of relief you felt afterwards, I would be even angrier at the end of the scene.

But since releasing aggressions, feeling strong, fighting and being victorious are the things I seek the most in my spanking play and since Ludwig knows me very well, he has found ways to take me there without pushing the wrong buttons. It doesn't take much to get me into that stubborn mood, as a matter of fact it is my normal mental state at the beginning of a spanking... ;-) Challenging me in a positive way works great for me. When I've got the feeling that Ludwig enjoys to push me to my limits, to provoke some reactions and to see me struggling, but at the same time he doesn't want to break me and wants me to finally win the battle, I'm just in the right mood! Then I can use my aggressions in order to cope with the spanking and feel proud, strong, relaxed and peaceful afterwards.

It's great that the "marshmallow" scenario worked so well for you and that it brought you some relief from all the anger and stress. I hope that the feeling of strength and peace stays with you for a while and carries you through the challenges of your everyday life! :-)

Rebecca said...

Very powerful - sounds like it was what you needed lovely girl xx

Eliane said...

Kaelah - great comment - I think so much of what we do is about not pushing the wrong buttons, in fact I've got a post about that brewing in my head somewhere.

And yes, you're all right in thinking that I very much needed it!