Thursday, 16 September 2010

Under The Weather

I've been feeling distinctly under the weather this past few days, having come down very suddenly with a stinker of a cold during Monday night. I was very sensible on Tuesday and Wednesday and spent both days either sleeping or resting. The trouble was, by today, I was bored of being ill. So I drove into work to get my laptop.
I only managed two hours in the office before I was so shattered I had to come home again, but when I got back I worked all afternoon until about 6pm, and then decided I really should go to rehearsal as I'd missed all this week's. Unfortunately I only got ten minutes down the road (it's a 25 minute journey) before I had to give up and turn back as my eyes were watering so badly with tiredness that I couldn't actually see the road.
This is my trouble - my stubborn mentality will mean that I just push myself to keep going when I really should rest. So what I really needed this week was someone who would make me go upstairs at 8pm, put on my pajamas, follow me up, turn me over their knee, give me a firm spanking* and put me to bed.
Of course it doubtless would fail in real life as I'm a contrary madam and would probably smack whoever tried. It's a nice little dream, though.

* Firm bedtime spankings do NOT include hairbrushes. There's a law somewhere which confirms this.


Dave_Da_Pirate said...

How about wooden spoons?

Indy said...

@Dave_Da_Pirate: I cannot believe you would threaten a sick woman with a wooden spoon! Even one as stubborn as Eliane!

@Eliane: hope you haven't set yourself back today. Rest and get well so that I can go back to teasing you mercilessly without feeling the slightest trace of guilt. ;)

Rich Person said...

Spankings don't include implements (IMHO). The term "spanking" should rightly be reserved for slapping the buttocks with the (open) hand. Anything else is a paddling, whipping, or caning (or, more generally, flagellation).

I know, I know. I'm just being a language lawyer.

But, it's important to use spanking in this way so that when someone says, "You're going to get a spanking!" it conveys the right level of severity and intimacy.

Of course, I've seen people use "spanking" to cover the use of the cane. I just can't see that a cane has the same connotations as a slap on the butt with the hand.

I guess I'd allow some poetic license to include things like slapping the breast in the definition of spanking, as in, "I spanked her breasts." But, you can see the clear analogy, right?

So, there you have it. No, a smack with a wooden spoon would not fit the definition of spanking.


Caroline Grey said...

I dunno that I agree with Rich, even though I like his thinking. :)

Burt I do know I agree with you about the hairbrushes not being included in bedtime spankings. Not even firm ones. You are completely and utterly right. (So sayeth me.)

Feel better, love!

Jen said...

When sick, spankings should only include the hand or something in leather. Spankings in general should not include the hairbrush, but that's just me. LOL