There has been much debate recently on twitter, and on blogs about body shape and size of spankees. This debate has stemmed from two main sources. One is the comments that some people think it is acceptable to make about a spankees size/weight/appearance, especially about professional spankees and models, as discussed by Leia-Ann here. Commenting on people's appearance in a negative way is not cool guys, OK? Though I'm sure you know that. Also there is this perspective from a taller lady in response to a blogpost where someone implied that tall bottoms should only be spanked by taller tops!
It's an interesting point. Is there some sort of rule that says that a top should be physically bigger or stronger than the people they are spanking? Is it in some way aesthetically unpleasant if this doesn't happen? Does it mean that the top will be less effective or that the bottom will somehow have a poorer experience?
Well, as far as I'm concerned, any suggestion along those lines is utter rubbish. I'm, as I've said before, not small, and probably larger than at least half of the people who've topped me over the past couple of years. So has that made a difference? Of course not. I've played with people who are six foot plus, I've played with at least two people who are barely five feet tall – Adele Haze and Amy Hunter. And at both ends of the spectrum they've been able to top me just fine. In fact, I'd go as far to say that Amy, in her guise as Miss Hammond-Grant (or HamandEggs, take your pick!) at Finishing School, is quite possibly one of scariest tops I've ever met!
For me, the ability to top me, or even dom me, bears no relation to size. It is all about mindset. It is all about putting me in that place where I am willing to bend over and take what's coming. It's about demeanour, tone of voice, what you actually say. The truly successful people are those who know just the right buttons to press to get the reactions they want from you. They don't need to be physically superior. They don't need to be intellectually superior, though many are. They just need to have that ability to say the right thing at the right time!
2 days ago
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2 comments:
There are some size-related issues with topliness for me, but they're all minor physical glitches I can usually make up for by being a BITCH FROM HELL. *grins hugely*
I'm only allowed to spank people who are smaller than I am? But that would mean that I can't spank Ludwig! No way! ;-)
Joking aside, if it were true that one should only spank people who are smaller, most of the heterosexual male spankees really would have a problem to find a woman to top them, right? As you said, it's more about attitude than about size. And if a bottom agrees to play out a scene with a top who is smaller and maybe less strong than he or she is, the top simply needs enough self-confidence and the bottom will submit (because it's consensual play and that's what he or she wants).
I can imagine that size and physical power might be important for people who are into physical resistance play, though. Of course I would look really stupid if I tried to struggle Ludwig down for a spanking. Luckily, Ludwig isn't into that kind of resistance play when he switches. And I guess those who are into it can find ways to deal with that issue. For example working with two tops, so that the scene becomes believable again.
Another problem I can imagine is that, depending on the spanking position and the scenario, a taller and stronger top might look more believable or impressive (especially in a film). But I guess that this is only true for some scenes, anyway, and changing the spanking position might already change the optical impression a lot. So I don't really see a big problem here, either.
Apart from these two special aspects I can't imagine why there should be any general rule that says that the top has to be taller or stronger than the bottom. And given my size I'm very happy about that... :-)
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