I'm having a party on Saturday. A kinky party. There are quite a few people coming. Up to 28, to be precise. That's quite a lot of kinky people.
Having a houseful of kinky people would be a lovely event, but for one small problem. This party is a birthday party. Well, it's actually a joint birthday party, but the other person is denying that it's her birthday. We all know what happens at kinky birthday parties, don't we? People get birthday spankings. Fine if it's one or two people delivering them. Fifteen or so? Not so fine.
So, friends, I have a plan to save my butt. This plan has two parts:
Part one: Hide all my toys that I don't like, leaving only those which I do like available for use.
But wait, you say, what about the people coming? Surely they will bring their own implements?
Well, here is where part two comes into play. Part two involves frisking all guests on arrival. Frisking them for implements, you understand. If I discover any implement that I think will be detrimental to my health, I will remove it, and/or make the bearer sign a legal document swearing that they won't use it on me.
My one problem? What to do about Abel's right hand... Personally I don't think it should be allowed on the premises, but as I'd quite like the rest of him to be in attendance I don't suppose I have a whole amount a choice.
I'll let you know how my plan goes, shall I?
6 hours ago