Flip Flops

Radio 4 on Friday night was broadcasting a discussion about a scheme in Devon, where police are going to start giving out flip flops to drunk young women. This is apparently to prevent them falling off their high heels and injuring themselves. One of the participants in the discussion commented that it seemed very much to her like the girls were being rewarded for being drunk, being given flip flops.
I have another theory. I think the BBC have it wrong. I think the proposal is for all those nice, hunky policemen to take the naughty, drunken girls, and "give them the flip flop" as a modern day, forward thinking Police Force's alternative to "giving them the slipper". Let's face it, slippers are terribly passé. Flips flops, as the fashion mags tell us on a regular basis, are the way to go.

The Kinky Wii Game

In which ones uses one's butt...

Seriously, there is a new Wii game out where for part of it you have to use your butt. On a Wii balance board. And judging by the second video in the link below, they are rather proud of the amount of butt action used in the game. The words "assume the position" were even used at one point.
http://www.nintendowiifanboy.com/2008/05/29/were-gonna-have-a-rabbids-tv-party-tonight/
Even worse, though, or possibly better, is the link I found on the rabbids.com home page.
To a little flash game.
http://contest.ubi.com/UK_RAYMAN_TV_COMP/en-GB/Main.aspx
Where you spank the rabbids. Seriously.
My abysmal score did prove to me that I would never make a top, though.

Tales of the Bath Brush

So there I was, lying face down on the bed, in that beautiful, post spanking haze, all sleepy and lovely, when all of a sudden, SOMEONE comes back into the room and proceeds to start spanking me with a WET bath brush. When I demanded to know why he had interrupted my little space out, he replied that he had been in the bathroom, with the tap running, seen the brush, seen my tush (well, he didn't use that word, but it rhymes, so that's cool) and put 1 and 1 and 1 together to get a wet bath brush spanking. He also claimed that I would have been disappointed if he hadn't done it, as I was obviously expecting him to do something like that since I left the brush there in the bathroom. Well, really. Some people!! George, just for the record, just because there is something lying around that you *might* be able to spank me with, does not mean that I *want* you to spank me with it. OK?!

It was a lovely spanking though. Lots of nice hand spanking. Some with a wooden spoon. (Because he was afraid of hurting his hand. Whatever.) Some with the hairbrush of doom, because I was in that good a mood. And then 24 with his belt. Now don't tell him this, but I actually really love his belt. I also love that he's thoughtful enough to alternate doing some forehand and some backhand so my poor right cheek doesn't get overly "seen to".

We finished off with lots with the flogger. Oh how I luurrrve my flogger... So after all that lovely spanky goodness, he comes at me with the wet bath brush. Just it on it's own I could have understood. But *wetting* it?! That's just his pure evil streak coming through ;-)

Pretty Knickers

Or "How I learnt to love my bottom".
I have spent the last two weeks having to wear very, very boring black cotton knickers. No, this was not for any kinky reason, but for reasons of my play/costume practicality. And while I am sad the play is over, I'm very, very happy that I can wear all my pretty knickers again. As I'm sure all women will agree, wearing pretty or cute knickers can just give you that extra inner confidence and feeling of sexiness. It's strange though. I used to wear black or white or beige cotton knickers ALL the time. God, how boring was I?! I also would never have considered that my bottom could be considered nice, or attractive, or sexy. Never sexy...
But, over the past six months ago, and with some help from certain people, I've learnt to love my bottom. And I want to be nice to it, and give it pretty things to wear, and it was very hard over the last couple of weeks to be stuck with BORING black cotton. Yawn.
That said, I wore black cotton ones today, but that was purely because they said "Little Miss Trouble" on them, which seemed appropriate.
Wait, you were waiting to read something about a spanking, you cry?! What can I say, I had to wait for three weeks, so you guys can wait a day or so...!

Spanking, Spanking Everywhere

I've not had much opportunity to watch TV, listen to the radio, or really do anything much at all recently. So why is that I am still finding spanking everywhere? I had the TV on for about ten minutes the other day. It so happened that I turned on to an episode of Will and Grace, where an old guy was trying to get Grace to spank him (and he succeeded). Driving home a couple of days later I had Radio Four on, listening to the "Book at Bedtime" slot, I happened to have tuned in to the adaptation of "A Kestrel for A Knave", the novel that the film Kes was based on. I caught one episode in the week. And only the last 5 minutes of it. That was the only five minutes in the entire story that had a caning in it! That's a pretty impressive achievement on my part, I feel!
The culmination was this weekend when in acting class we were doing the scene from The Crucible where Proctor threatens his maid Mary Warren with a whip, followed by dinner at a Greek restaurant where I, um, misread, Spanakopita... but wouldn't it be cool if restaurants served spanking?!

It's been too long

If everything goes to plan I will be getting spanked on Monday. I've lost track of how long it's been since I was last spanked, I think three weeks or a month maybe? Purely my fault, I've had a mad few weeks because of various things and have barely had time to breathe, let alone get spanked. The trouble is I'm now in the position of half longing for and half dreading Monday. I *need* to be spanked. It's been too long. I'm craving it. Or at least the tiny part of my that's not exhausted, overwhelmed and in desperate need of a quiet evening in front of the television followed by an 8pm bedtime is craving it ;-) After all, I'm a kinky girl, being spanked is part of my raison d'être nowadays. On the other hand, I'm dreading it. It's been three weeks (at least). I think my rear has probably returned to it's original , virgin, unspanked state. How on earth is it going to cope?! Needless to say, it will be a shock to the system. Both a bad one and a good one.

Kinky Girl Shopping

I went to the shops the other day to stock up on stockings, so to speak, and it all went a little kinky. I spotted an inappropriately short tartan skirt that had to go in the shopping basket. (It's so inappropriate that I wouldn't actually be able to wear it to answer the front door, never mind out of the house). It happened to be sitting next to a nice white shirt, so that got purchased as well. And then who could resist the black V-neck jumper I saw in the next shop? So basically, I went for stockings and purchased a whole new school uniform. Oh, and some pretty knickers :-) I'm one very happy kinky girl.

7 Things Meme

I've been tagged by various people to do that seven things meme that's floating around. I don't usually do meme things, but it's Sunday morning, I really should be working, and I'd really rather not be, so I'll do this instead for a while.
I'm not one for following the rules if I can't be bothered, and there was a whole lot of blah at the top of this one, but the upshot of it was that you should write seven random things about yourself. And then tag some other people, but as everyone else has done it, I won't bother with that bit.

So, seven random things about me:

1) Whilst I am conceptually worried about global warming and flooding, on a personal level it doesn't worry me quite so much: I live on the second floor, half way up a hill, five miles from a major waterway. If I get flooded, the rest of you will have already drowned...

2) I was a Babe in the Wood in a local pantomime when I was four. They forgot to warn the children that the lights would be going off backstage, so they ended up with 30 screaming, frantic 4 year olds on their hands. Silly people.

3) This will completely give me away to anyone who is reading this and who knows me but doesn't know I'm kinky. On the other hand, what the hell are you doing reading a spanking blog if you are not kinky yourself?! Anyway, I'm scared of wrists, as in if I think about them on any level I turn slightly green and go a little faint. Yes, I know I *have* wrists. Don't remind me.

4) I'm dyslexic. I tend to use this as an excuse for poor spelling more than I should do, but when it comes to "proper" longhand writing, form filling and copying things down, it actually does have an impact. So don't ever make me do lines, okay?

5) I'm making up for lost time now, because I was stupidly good at school. I got kept in once at break when I was 10. I was so upset, I never did anything that would get me into trouble ever again.

6) Oh, apart from getting my mother to shout at my history teacher, who had lost my history exercise book and then accused me of having lost it. She shouted, he apologised, I found it in the back of my wardrobe 3 weeks later and never told anyone. Whoops.

7) I pretty much always have itchy feet. In the metaphorical sense you understand... I try and go on a long (4 weeks plus) holiday every 3 or 4 years, and have been talking about taking a year's career break to travel for a while now. When I told one of my vanilla friends about the whole spanking thing, she was mostly just relieved that I wasn't announcing I was buggering off round the world for a year. Of course, one thing I will have to think about now if I do decide to take a year off is how I will cope for a year without being spanked. Or alternatively how I will find people to spank me all round the world ;-)

So there you have it, seven random things about me. I suppose I'd better do some work now.

To Warm Up Or Not To Warm Up

I've always heard/read that "cold" canings (i.e. on an unspanked bottom) hurt worse than when you have had a "warm up" hand spanking. George doesn't think this is right, but as he stated on his blog recently, is not about to argue with me if I'm basically asking for *more* punishment and he gets to get his hands on my bum for longer. (I'm paraphrasing!)

Of course, I still haven't managed to work out why some punishments I can take and some make me leap out of my skin, but I don't think a warm up has anything to do with it.

So, I would like to ask a question of readers, especially those more experienced ones, though everyone feel free to weigh in:

"What is best, to warm up or not to warm up?"

Empire State Building Spanking?

Those of you who know me will know that I'm not an exhibitionist. Or at least not when it comes to spanking. I don't think I could ever envisage a situation where I would get spanked in public. However, on a recent trip to New York, I saw something that might make me reconsider.

Most of the telescopes on the top of the Empire State Building are 'normal' ones, on top of long posts, but there are a couple that are set up on the end of posts that sort of stick out at, well, waist height:
















See what I mean? It's just the right height and width to bend over! I think being spanked on top of the Empire State Building would probably count as one of the best spanking views you could have! I wouldn't be tempted if it was busy, but if I could somehow get the top of the Empire State Building to myself, I would *so* want to spanked up there!

LOL Review

Hey, LOL day was so much fun! Thank you so much to everyone who stopped by the blog, please call again, and an even bigger thank you to those of you who said hi. It was great to hear from new and old commenters alike :-)
So I'd like to say a special hi, and welcome (back), to Jen, Bonnie, Spanky, Maryann, PK, Irelynn, Todd and Suzy, LizzyBee, Grace, Cassie, Greenwoman, Dr Ken, Hermione, Eva, Marcus, K, dieseldiva, and dixiedarling!
I hope you all had fun catching up with lots of blogs on LOL day as well.
Eliane

Love Our Lurkers Day

Today is "Love Our Lurkers Day", as instigated by the lovely Bonnie over at My Bottom Smarts.
Love Our Lurkers Day is the day when "we" in the Spanking blog community invite our readers to leave us a comment. If you've always been too shy to say hi, today's the day to pluck up the courage. You never know what might happen if you do! I've met some wonderful people through commenting on blogs.
When I originally started this blog, I really didn't know what I was going to do with it. I kept it secret, I was really writing only for myself. As the months have gone on, more and more people have found it and I'm now writing with my audience in mind, which is much more fun :-) It's lovely to know that there are people out there who don't find what I write completely boring and who actually come back to read more.
So if you're one of those who has never plucked up the courage to comment, do it now. You can use a false name, or not even leave one. You don't have to have anything big or grand to say - just hi will do - I'd love to hear from you all!
Eliane

Porn Star

I'd like to welcome a new commenter to the site: Porn Star. Don't get overexcited, she's not an actual porn star, that's just her pseudonym. However, she is one of my very best friends, and has been so for the last 8 years. In fact she is probably the main reason I'm blogging today. It was her openness about the things she liked in life that gave me the courage to tell her that I had been hiding the fact that I was a kinky so and so for the past 7 and a half years. If I hadn't had her in my life to "come out" to, then there is a fair chance that this side of me would have stayed hidden forever. Even though I have only been "active" in my kinkiness since April, it's already changed my life for the better in so many ways. I'm immeasurably more contented than I was a year ago. I'm now being the "whole" me.
So, Porn Star, thank you for your friendship and welcome to the site. I hope you are enjoying living vicariously through me, and I promise you many more stories to come, AS LONG as you stop trying to get me into trouble, you evil wench! I need no help doing that, as I'm sure you've gathered.
(Oh, and one of these days I will get a test drive of a flip -flop and let you know.)

Easily Distracted

I was lucky enough to get tickets to an acclaimed, sold-out West End play. It was very good, well worth the money, and I was enjoying myself immensely, absorbed in the drama, when all of a sudden I got distracted. The third act had started with some of the actors sitting round a desk, drinking and eating. So far, so normal. However, about halfway through the scene, the lead character comes in, has a strop, and clears everything off the desk. Leaving a *beautiful* dark wood desk completely empty: and there I am, pulled out of the drama, thinking "Oh my, I want to be bent over that gorgeous desk and spanked". Things got even worse when one of the young female characters waltzes on stage, and, God help me, bends over the damn desk. Twice! It took me a good few minutes to regain my composure and focus on what was going on in the play again.
Bad kinky brain!

Ugh

Ugh, I need a spanking. Big time.
That's all.

I Broke My Haibrush

Unfortunately, it wasn't the hairbrush of doom that got broken, but my wonderful, faithful old plastic one, which finally gave up the ghost when the handle sheared off in my hand the other morning leaving the brush bit still in my hair. This was quite upsetting, as it's hard to find hairbrushes that my hair doesn't eat.
It did give me an idea, though. I'm now actually going to have to resort to using the previously hidden hairbrush of doom in my hair, and, if I maybe take a knife to the handle and create a bit of a weak point, it shouldn't be long before that one breaks in my hair as well.
Am I not a genius?!

Spanking In A CV

I have been wrestling with the question of how to put the word spanking into a CV. Not because I want to do it for real, you understand. More as a theoretical challenge. I believe I've found the solution though. Under the section talking about hobbies and interests, give a list of sports you take part in:

Swimming
Polo
Athletics
Netball
Kickboxing
Ice Skating
Nordic Skiing
Golf

Admittedly, the Nordic Skiing is a bit of a stretch, but you try finding two sensible sports beginning with an N!

So there you have it. How to write the word spanking in a CV. Go on, I dare you!

(And to the person who inspired me to try, thank you very much :-) )

A worrying thought

My mother is not kinky. Really, she's not. She's a lovely woman, and I love her to bits, but she's not kinky.

Except...

She went to Paris a couple of weekends ago as a birthday treat. She was regaling me with tales when she got back, including talking about the little café they had found to have breakfast each morning. As she was telling me about this place, she took great delight in talking about the waitress they had, who the owner kept whacking on the butt (probably not the words my mother used) with a tea towel.

I didn't think much of at the time, as I was possibly not paying her proper attention as she talked. But yesterday those tales suddenly popped into my head as I remembered the relish with which she talked about this incident. At least twice.

She's not is she?

Let's just hope it's an aberration...

Oh god, where's my therapist's number??

Victorian Schoolrooms

A newish acquaintance of mine works as a Victorian school teacher in one of the many recreation museums which exist nowadays. I was chatting to her the other day and mentioned that someone I knew (Hi Smudge!) had been traumatised when she was young by a visit to one such institution. Please note that I did not say how or why she had been traumatised. Her reply was as follows: "Well, I'm not surprised. It's a bit pervy really. You know, all the little boys just seem to want to get caned. And as for the male teachers, they're the worst!"
I think my answer was something along the lines of "Oh yes, gosh, I can imagine". Inside though I was laughing at the fact that a seemingly innocuous conversation had gone kinky without me even trying!

That's it - I'm moving!

It's November 2nd. I'm already fed up with winter. I'm fed up with it always raining, I'm seriously unimpressed that we've already had snow (the first time it snowed in October where I live since BEFORE I WAS BORN!) I'm fed up with *always* being cold, I'm fed up with it going dark at 5pm and I'm completely fed up with being stuck behind drivers doing 30 miles per hour on 60 mile per hour roads. Idiots. All in all, I HATE winter.
Anyway, if anyone who lives somewhere warm and sunny wants an incredibly untidy house guest for the next three months, please feel free to let me know.

Update: I forgot to add that I also HATE fireworks, so this adds to my November disgust. For those of you not from the UK, November 5th is Bonfire Night. This means lots of fireworks, and results in me spending the best part of two weeks hiding under my bed whenever I can.
I hate winter.

A Clumsy Maid

I'm playing an Edwardian maid in a amateur play at the moment. The director probably would not have cast me in that role if she had had any inkling of quite how I clumsy I am. I trip over coming on stage, I've dropped a tray full of glasses (thankfully plastic), and I'm dreading when we move out of the rehearsal rooms and into the theatre as there will be even more opportunities for me to fall over things, walk off things, and generally make an idiot of myself.

It does make me wonder, though, quite how I would have fared in a real Edwardian household, maybe one where the maids were spanked for clumsiness. I suspect I would have never been able to sit down, as I would have had a permanent sore bottom from being taken to task for my many spillages and accidents. I'm very grateful I live in the 21st century, and don't have to worry about breaking the glasses in the sink anymore. Now I blame the dishwasher!