Wednesday 18 February 2009

Dominance

A couple of weeks ago I met with a friend for a quick play session. Very quick as we were basically shoe-horning time into our respective insane schedules. He's a lovely friend, and we had a fun time, but several times I found myself wiggling, pouting, complaining about him being too hard, etc, and, because he is such a lovely person, I was being allowed to get away with it. I mean, if someone tells you not to rub, and you rub 10 seconds later, you expect them to do something about it, no?
Yes, I was probably bratting, and yes, I was probably doing that dreaded no-no, "topping from the bottom", but I suppose I was really just testing, and seeing if he would, well, dominate me.
As I'm sure most of my regular readers will have guessed by now, I can be a little feisty when I want to, so I really need people I play with to not let me get away with that rubbish!
I suppose what I need, once in a while, is to be dominated. I'm the dominant, bossy one generally, and I don't naturally submit very easily. I have to be forced into it, and for me, the real kick comes when someone does take control, and take the upper hand, ignores all my whinging and whining, and does bring out that submissive streak in me.
That's not too much to ask is it?!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's a tricky one. When you top, and you don't know the person very well, it's a lot safer to err on the side of a lighter approach, than to mistake the signals for "dominate me", when they actually mean "back off". You may be safer warning the play-mates in advance which way you lean.

Jay Walker said...

I know exactly what you mean.
I brat nearly all the time in the hope that my friend will get to the 'I've had enough' point and force the sub out of me. I know she's in there somewhere.
I don't think its too much to ask.
Hugs, Jay

Indy said...

I agree with both you and Haron, needless consistency being the hobgoblin of small minds and all. And I feel that way in actual play sometimes, too, both resisting out of uncertainty, especially when playing with a new top, and wanting to be dominated. It probably doesn't help that my comfort zone is so different with different tops-- not just in terms of severity, but also in terms of what works really well.

Having said all that, I would have thought rubbing after being told not to was a pretty unambiguous form of bratting!

Kami Robertson said...

It's not too much to ask. You expect top/dom to have ability to top/dominate - in a way. It's natural really.

But Haron is right, talking helps if you two don't know each other enough.