Friday, 29 August 2008

Anticipation - the aftermath

In response to a question:

How do I feel? SORE! Trying very hard not to sit full on my bum.
What else do I feel?
Annoyed with myself for crying in front of you.
Hating myself for screwing up in the first place.
Proud at having (sort of) submitted
Annoyed at having (sort of) submitted
Really annoyed at having cried. Not that I did, you understand.
Mad that you said I'm naturally submissive. I'm bloody not.
Annoyed that I'm so damn contradictory, even in my own stupid head.
Well spanked. In a nice way.
Hating myself for needing to be spanked.
Hating myself for being needy.

Pleased that I got spanked.
Determined not to screw up again.
Wishing I didn't find it so hard to look you in the eye.
Wishing I felt able to stop beating myself up over every little thing I do wrong.
Scared of failing.
Numb (have not moved, so bum has gone numb, phew!)
Pissed off with myself.



grace said...

Well, welcome to the spanko world.

It's confusing, it's weird, it's embarrassing, it's HOT, it's erotic, it's annoying, it's....

It's everything you described and more!

Boggles the mind, doesn't it?


Jen said...

Wow. You put into words the things that I have felt before.

I look forward to reading more.



Eliane said...

Grace, Jen, thank you for the lovely comments!

Anonymous said...

Eliane --I read about your blog on Grace's site. Welcome to the spanking blog world. I find most spanko writers and readers to be kind, supportive and just really fun folks. I have added you to my blogroll if that's ok? Feel free to add my site to your blogroll. Looking forward to getting to know you.

I Gal