Friday 16 October 2009

So What Turns You On?

Having spent some time thinking about how to write a spanking, it led me on to thinking about what actually turns me on. What gives me my kicks? I'm not so much talking about the actual act of spanking here, more how I get my kicks when there's no spanking available. I suppose the big choice is between visual porn and written porn. I prefer spanking stories to films, which is not a huge surprise as that extends further out than porn. I'm one of these people who would rather read the book first and then see the movie, so that I can get my own pictures in my head rather than a directors vision. Of course, this leads to the unfortunate situation where I end up hating most book adaptations that I see because they ruin a perfectly good story!

Anyway, wandering back to the point, it's the same with porn. While I do enjoy watching spanking films, I often prefer reading a story, as that enables me to build the images myself. So, in a quest to understand what would make my own paltry writing better, I started to think about what in particular in a story turns me on. Is it the actual spanking, is it something else? The conclusion I've come to so far is that it primarily IS the spanking that turns me on, but that would be nothing without the build up leading me there. If I just read a story that was "Slap, slap, she felt guilty, slap ouch", I would be left cold. I need the context, the background, the anticipation, the empathy with the character. I also need to feel the emotion of the spanking rather than just the mechanics of it, or again, it is somewhat meaningless.

So what does it for you? Do you prefer film to written stories? Is it the physical act of spanking that is the turn on, or the anticipation, or the aftermath? You know me, I'm endlessly curious (okay, nosy!) so feel free to enlighten me.


Anonymous said...

Dear Elaine,
I've never watched a spanking film and I don't like most spanking pictures, so I'll have to go with story.

I've learned, after some experimenting, that I don't actually like punishment scenerios, or even discipline or mentor-type scenerios. The part that turns me on is the guy's confidence and boldness to seize his woman and make her his own.

The power exchange of the spanking is what gets me every time.

Okay, now I miss my man and I badly want a spanking. :)

Thanks for asking.

Paul said...

Eliane, like you I prefer the pictures in my head.
A well written spanking story does it every time.
Like you I hate most film adaptations of my favourite books, with one exception, Kim, the film was almost as good as the book.
Warm hugs,

Hermione said...


I prefer stories to videos or pictures. As Paul said, I prefer the pictures in my head. And I agree, the spanking without the buildup would be nothing. For purposes of self-erotic enjoyment, I prefer punishment stories, and often mentally replay the build-up a few times until it works for me.

This is a great topic.


Graham said...

Anticipation is a huge part of it for me. I'm all about the ritual.

I don't really watch videos, but that's more my unwillingness to pay than anything else - someday I hope to check out more spanking films.

I can't say if I have a definite preference between pictures and stories, but these days what usually "does it" for me is some arresting image/phrase - it could be a photo, drawing, line in a story, moment of dialogue, etc. It's usually something brief and evocative that my imagination latches onto.

To be honest... for fantasy fodder, I usually just visit my own imagination : ) Though it's lots of fun borrowing from other people's imaginations too!

Anonymous said...

Hi. For me there has to be a build up and my pref is F/f stories. Either partners or parent/aunt etc and young woman 20+. Hate anything that involves age play. There has to be a loving and consensual relationship. I much prefer written stories. Like others have said my imagination does the rest.

Debbie Ann said...

I'm all about stories, written word. what I like is so odd/strange I pretty much have to write it myself. I like matter-of-fact tone from the pov of the father. There are some sort of pseudo-scientific books from the 70s written in this style, or some of the christian discipline books. I don't really care about the reason for the discipline, I'm all about the humiliation, ritual and sort of the mundane details.

I used to write and post stories in this style (debporn) - but then the strangest thing happened - which is sort of scary to me - after I wrote my stories down they would stop working as something that could get me off.

Alyx said...

I wouldn't be surprised if the majority of responses would be for the written word. After all, people who are going to be drawn to reading blogs will be readers. (Not that we don't visit the spanking tube as well. *bg*)

I'm one of those that finds the written word more exciting (in general...there are exceptions, and I do love a well-done visual scene), for the very same reason as you do -- my imagination fills in very nicely.

I think what makes a story compelling is the ability of the reader to lose her/himself in the world the author creates -- so the more details which can help us identify with what's going on, or make us feel like part of the story -- the better. Or alternatively, writing that will strongly evoke memories or emotions in us.

I still have so much to learn (as a writer) about achieving that, but as a reader I do appreciate it. Hell, it leaves me in awe or tears, sometimes.

Great topic.

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

I think I've seen a lot of good and mediocre in both story and video media. I wouldn't necessarily rate one over the other.

I'm big on real-life stories, cause I don't like feeling that I'm viewing or reading something that's been created with the express purpose of turning me on.

And I guess real life stories are necessarily print stories since no one goes through real life with a camera crew following them around. Though there could be a lot of potential in re-enactments of real-life stories, I guess.

In videos, I guess I've been most impressed with what I've seen from Nu-west, in terms of authenticity at least, though I don't like all their stuff. I don't buy many videos, so my viewing is mostly limited to what I find for free on the net as samples and such.

In mainstream films, "Secretary" and "Nine and a Half Weeks"" were my two faves. No surprises there, I bet!

Aeon's Angel said...

I love stories. I enjoy reading about the experiences of others. As I have said in my own blog I am a verbal voyuer.

I find some pics arousing and others just trashy. I am picky about pics. I like the more honest pics you know the real morning after kind.

This was a very thought provoking post for me by the way. Thank you.

Abel1234 said...

I guess my full league table would be:

1. playing
2. writing
3. reading
4. watching.

But quality is all-important. I'd take a good spanking video ahead of a poorly-written story any day.

And I also think I need to conduct some more research. A lot more.

LizzyBee said...

I would say that I typically like the written word more than videos, but most of all what I look for is build up before the main event. Sometimes that is more important to me than the act itself.

So many times I have been disappointed by a video or story because it is literally just a hand hitting a bottom. Like you said, for me to enjoy it there has to be deeper emotions involved. I want to see lots of verbal interaction between the spanker and spankee. I want to feel the indignation of the spankee, the conflicting emotions -brattiness, anger, and final submission - maybe even tears by the end. As well as the control and compassion of the spanker, who maintains his composure throughout. And I agree with other commenters, there can never be too many details!

Fun question!

Dave The Rave said...

Reading about a spanking can be stimulating or, in my case, getting a note from someone who says how she will 'punish' me.

Also, thinking about it helps, as well. You should be able to 'feel' the spanking as you read a letter, e-mail or story. Arousal can mean many things, as well.

Having it done is even more of a turn-on, as I'm sure is the case with most of us. I prefer it and have fun with it.

Dave The Rave said...

Reading a real-life story about someone getting a good disciplining session is always fun. However, receiving a letter or e-mail from a friend telling me what she will do to me is arousing.

Being able to "feel" the punishment while reading about it can be a huge turn-on and the arousal can mean many things.

I get punished from time to time and while it is bascially the same, each time is different and that is what keeps it interesting.