Well, you get:
- A girl jumping out of a cake (who thought that a wish expressed on twitter three weeks before would be made true?)
- A totally unjustified spanking, to remove me from the room while the “cake” was set up.
- A multiple flogging from my darling GNO girls.
- The most perverted scene I could ever imagine where at least ten people were all stood in my bedroom taking it in turns to give me a birthday spanking while singing “Happy Birthday” in a dirge like manner. I mean, really, people!
- A fabulous barbecue, thanks to all the kind chefs.
- The chance to watch a dear friend get her share of birthday spankings. (Well, actually, her comeuppance!)
- A caning and a belting.
- The chance to meet the London Tanner.
- The amusement of watching someone try to put up a tent in the pitch black and yet refuse any offers of a torch.
- The indignity of losing at cheesecake Jenga, mostly because the Meanest Man On The Internet cheated!
- The chance to flog real life people, and oh my goodness did I enjoy it.
- The joy of coming down the next morning to find that the cleaning fairies had started work. They do exist!
- Some more lovely spankings the next morning, from those I'd forgotten to collect my birthday spanking from the night before.
- At least two threats of retribution to be served up at a later date for cheek. Anyone who knows me will know how unfair and unjust this is!
To be serious for a minute, I want to thank each and every one of my guests for their presence yesterday. You made the party, and I hope you all enjoyed yourselves as much as I did. You all rock!