Don't...

Searching through my books the other day, I discovered a little tome called "Don't: A Manual of Mistakes & Improprieties more or less prevalent in Conduct and Speech." It's a reprint of a manual issued in 1880. Reading through, I found some useful tips to share with you.

Don't, as hostess, insist upon taking a caller's hat or cane. Pay no attention to these articles. It is right that he should carry them; it is not right that you should notice them.

So, ladies, if your gentleman caller arrives carrying a cane, it is not polite to make any mention of it, let alone run away and hide. I wonder if one is allowed to notice his cane once he starts using it?

Don't carry cane or umbrella in a crowd horizontally. The trick is a very annoying one to the victims of it.

Having been a victim of a horizontal cane several times, I can't disagree.

Don't interject sir or madam freely into your conversation.

Well, I try not to, but some people seem to insist on it.

Don't, as master or mistress, give your orders in an authoritative manner. The feelings of those under you should be considered. You will obtain more willing obedience if your directions have as little as possible of the tone of command.

Are you paying attention, all you tops and doms? You have to ask us nicely if you want us to do something!

I hope you found these tips edifying, and will endeavour to pay attention to them. After all, we should all strive for less impropriety!