In which I get drunk, beaten and showered with presents...
I think a good glimpse into the evening would be via my tweets... in my defence when I'm tired I tweet nearly as badly as when I'm drunk, because I can't be bothered to force my eyes to focus. So some of the bad spelling was due to tiredness, OK?
5:33pm: Whoops, think I might be drunk!
8:45pm: They ALL just spznked me! All of the m...
9:35pm: House is undekinked and spankng somethinged. Thou i mightnbw a bit drnuk.
10:22pm: House is undekinked and spankng somethinged. Thou i mightnbw a bit drnuk.
12:06am: @lucythematron You can totaaky come ti the next one! This ine wax housewarming. Next one is brthday :-)
12:22am: @catherine_987 and i thank you for not soanking me. But i thunk you were the only one! Well dime for @lilemmaj tho, she deserved it!!
12:24am: I know it looks kikeilm drunk tweeting but realky it's inly coz i'm tired and can onky fodus with one eye.
12:36am: AM a very happy girl
@lilemmaj Omg, you totally climbed thru my 80's retro serving hstch! Bad girl! Did youmget dealt with for thst?!
It was true, as well, they pretty much all did spank me. I think only two didn't, and one of those held me down while the others did. You see, apart from the various beatings that people gave me through the evening (Jessica, Lady Emma, and Haron, complete with fear inducing lipstick!) there was a moment where everyone had a go. It was all the doing of Abel and Haron. They brought a little scroll with them, you see, and claimed it was an old decree that was still in existence... they are generally very truthful people, so I had to believe them, didn't I?
I don't have my scanner set up yet (I know, give me a break, I had a housewarming to get ready for!) so I will reproduce the text here:
By Order of His Majesty's parliament
24 April 1710
It is hereby decreed that, henceforth, each new resident of the parish of X shall receive a "housewarming" spanking", the number of strokes or spanks to be equal to ten times the house number of their new abode.
Failure of the said new resident to comply fully and willingly with this decree shall result in either a doubling of the number of strokes or spanks, or the use of more severe implements, or both, by the decision of the assembled guests.
So at a certain point in the evening, Abel decided to round up people to help give me my forty strokes. Of course I'd tried to convince everyone that I lived at number 1, but they'd all walked in the door of number 4, so weren't that easily fooled. (Which surprised me!)
I was bent over the back of the sofa, so I don't really know exactly who did what, but I think that Abel, Haron, Master Retep, Emma Jane, Irelynn and Olivia all had a go (six strokes each). If I'm wrong, and missed someone, I'm sorry!! What they had a go with is lost in the mists of memory, but I think I said "ow" a lot. Someone else finished off the last four. Was it Abel again? If this all sounds like I was too drunk to remember, can I just point out that when you have your head buried in the sofa and someone holding on to your arms in such a way that there's no way you're getting up, it's a bit hard to distinguish who is hitting you with what :-) (Well, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!)
So, was my house thoroughly warmed? Yes, and my bottom was as well. I don't really have any excuse now for not being comfortable with spanking in the house. Um, when I'm drunk, at any rate.
22 hours ago