Monday, 26 April 2010

The Party

In which I get drunk, beaten and showered with presents...

I think a good glimpse into the evening would be via my tweets... in my defence when I'm tired I tweet nearly as badly as when I'm drunk, because I can't be bothered to force my eyes to focus. So some of the bad spelling was due to tiredness, OK?

5:33pm: Whoops, think I might be drunk!
8:45pm: They ALL just spznked me! All of the m...
9:35pm: House is undekinked and spankng somethinged. Thou i mightnbw a bit drnuk.
10:22pm: House is undekinked and spankng somethinged. Thou i mightnbw a bit drnuk.
12:06am: @lucythematron You can totaaky come ti the next one! This ine wax housewarming. Next one is brthday :-)
12:22am: @catherine_987 and i thank you for not soanking me. But i thunk you were the only one! Well dime for @lilemmaj tho, she deserved it!!
12:24am: I know it looks kikeilm drunk tweeting but realky it's inly coz i'm tired and can onky fodus with one eye.
12:36am: AM a very happy girl
lilemmaj Omg, you totally climbed thru my 80's retro serving hstch! Bad girl! Did youmget dealt with for thst?!

It was true, as well, they pretty much all did spank me. I think only two didn't, and one of those held me down while the others did. You see, apart from the various beatings that people gave me through the evening (Jessica, Lady Emma, and Haron, complete with fear inducing lipstick!) there was a moment where everyone had a go. It was all the doing of Abel and Haron. They brought a little scroll with them, you see, and claimed it was an old decree that was still in existence... they are generally very truthful people, so I had to believe them, didn't I?
I don't have my scanner set up yet (I know, give me a break, I had a housewarming to get ready for!) so I will reproduce the text here:

By Order of His Majesty's parliament
24 April 1710

It is hereby decreed that, henceforth, each new resident of the parish of X shall receive a "housewarming" spanking", the number of strokes or spanks to be equal to ten times the house number of their new abode.

Failure of the said new resident to comply fully and willingly with this decree shall result in either a doubling of the number of strokes or spanks, or the use of more severe implements, or both, by the decision of the assembled guests.

So at a certain point in the evening, Abel decided to round up people to help give me my forty strokes. Of course I'd tried to convince everyone that I lived at number 1, but they'd all walked in the door of number 4, so weren't that easily fooled. (Which surprised me!)
I was bent over the back of the sofa, so I don't really know exactly who did what, but I think that Abel, Haron, Master Retep, Emma Jane, Irelynn and Olivia all had a go (six strokes each). If I'm wrong, and missed someone, I'm sorry!! What they had a go with is lost in the mists of memory, but I think I said "ow" a lot. Someone else finished off the last four. Was it Abel again? If this all sounds like I was too drunk to remember, can I just point out that when you have your head buried in the sofa and someone holding on to your arms in such a way that there's no way you're getting up, it's a bit hard to distinguish who is hitting you with what :-) (Well, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!)

So, was my house thoroughly warmed? Yes, and my bottom was as well. I don't really have any excuse now for not being comfortable with spanking in the house. Um, when I'm drunk, at any rate.


Indy said...

I dunno, that decree sounds a bit fishy to me. Haron's lipstick must have been totally intimidating!

Or was it the superior force of the assembled guests?

EmmaJane said...

You're going to get a reputation for having the best parties ever!

So much fun thank you sweetie. I think I spent as much time beating people as I did being beaten myself which was a little strange but fun none the less ;)

The decreee as very, very funny - my 6 were with a cane btw....

Anyway I is very pleased you enjoyed it and that no furniture or Emma Janes were hurt in the making of this party

Graham said...

Ah, the whiskey always cures what ails ya : )

At first I was freaked out by that decree because in my neighborhood in the states all the houses have five-digit addresses... Be thankful you live at number four!

Sounds like an amazing time, and I'm sure your house thoroughly appreciated it.

Master Retep said...

@emmajane Does that mean the coconut wooden spoon doesn't count as furniture?

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

Eliane, your party report almost makes me wish I lived in London. I gather this is not the first such party you've hosted nor is it likely to be the last.

It's almost as if YOU are the epicentre of the British spanking scene! Of course I'm looking at it all from afar through the lens of bloggers posts.

Would be interesting to learn what the neighbours really DO think about it all, wouldn't it...

Master Retep said...

I didn't get the impression that Eliane wants her neighbours to regard her as the epicentre of the UK spanking scene, whatever opinions the rest of us may have.

Caroline Grey said...

Oh I'm so glad you all had a great time! I always knew you would! And it's so great that your lovely house is now properly kinkified!

Irelynn Logeen said...

Heh. I´m still not entirely convinced it was wise of me to let you tweet in a clearly drunk state, but you had told me to only stop you from texting random people in the middle of the night. And at least your tweets make for very funny reading!

Oh, and I spanked you with your pink paddle, for which you promised me you were eternally grateful. Still, it was very funny to hear all the people who were watching go "owww" on your behalf while we both knew it wasn't actually hurting all that much. ;-)

Sarah said...

Thank you for hosting so wonderfully (and drunkenly) the most fantastic party, I had the bestest time and promise to practice saying "ow" before the next one... to save you having to do so for me, even though you are particularly good at it :-)

ps - my word verification is "glizesod" sounds like something from an Eliane party tweet!

Master Retep said...

@Sarah You need to practice the lip syncing of your "ows" better, they weren't that connected to the actual spanking activity, as I recall.

OliviaManners said...

I actually gave you 7. Just slipped an extra one in there for good luck ;-)

Eliane said...

@Indy - looking back on it, it does look a bit fishy, but hey, I was drunk at the time!
@EJ Six with the cane? Mm, I owe you...!
@Graham... maybe we should arrange a belated house-warming spanking for you? I'm sure we could come to some sort of deal over the decree.
@KFG Lol, I'm not even the epicentre of my friends' spanking scene, let alone the whole UK scene.
@MR, yup, the less my neighbours know about the spanking, the better.
@CG - we missed you!
@Irelynn I only needed to be preventing from outing myself to vanillas in a drunken state. Tweeting was fine. Ahem.
@Olivia - An extra one? Cheeky!