The kink is slowly returning. I had my first "proper" spanking courtesy of Emma Jane last weekend. I survived ;-) I think it was good, but if I'm being very honest (and this in no way a reflection on EJ!) mostly I remember being panicky about the sound travelling. Hopefully I'll get less worried about this as time goes on, or maybe experiment with different locations.
That spanking, and conversations with EJ have kick started the kinky part of my brain. There are various fantasies spinning around in there. Dark fantasies, for me, if not for others. Strappings, birchings, canings. Being tied down, having control taken from me, being in someone else's; prison scenarios, reformatory scenarios, things removed from my more normal schoolgirl fantasies.
So that's what the fantasy part of my poor little confused brain is longing for. However, then the other part of my head intervenes. The realistic part. The part that actually has to process the pain. And it tells me to shut the hell up immediately. Because spankings hurt, and strappings hurt, and canings hurt, and though I've yet to experience a birching, only a very silly person would bet on them not hurting. And I don't like pain... and I haven't been spanked in a while... and I don't want to be spanked... probably.
Ack. Which part do I listen to?!
7 hours ago