Tuesday, 17 November 2009

My Name Is Eliane

And I'm a Knicker Addict.

You may have already come to that conclusion. Chatting to Rebecca on line last night, and numbering the pairs I'd bought over the past few days, arriving at sixteen, I realised that I do have a problem.

I also have an excuse though, or at least an explanation. I would like to tell you HOW I became a knicker addict. The start of this explanation will actually be about shoes. My attitude to shoes explains a lot about me.

I have big feet. I've always had big feet. I have, as my mother points out, the bones of my father's side of the family. Um, not the *actual* bones, you understand, but the tendency to have a large frame, big hands, big feet. One cousin takes a UK size 14 shoe. That's a 15 in US and a 49 in EU... so yeah, my size 8/9s are really fairly sensible in comparison. (That's a 10.5/11 US and 43 EU). They are wide as well though. The upshot of all this, is that growing up, I was never able to have "pretty" shoes. When all the other girls had pretty party shoes, they never did any that were long enough/wide enough to fit me.
When I hit my early twenties, and shops cottoned on to the fact that women's feet were not all size 5, I got a bit carried away. You have to remember, I'd never had pretty shoes before. Ever. So suddenly having all this choice meant that I was free to buy all sorts of pretty shoes I wanted. Well, it would be more precise to take out the "sorts of". I just bought ALL the pretty shoes!
Eventually, as the years passed, I realised that I didn't actually have to buy every nice pair of shoes I saw that fitted me. That chances are, next time I needed a pair, there would still be lots of pretty ones for sale. But this famine to feast situation explains a lot about me.

Knickers, of course, were not quite the same situation. I didn't have some major lack of pretty knickers as a child. I just learnt about knickers the way that us girls learn about lots of things. From my mother. And the only knickers that ever used to hang on our washing line were white, beige or black cotton. With the (very) occasional more racy black silky or cream silky pair. So I grew up thinking that nice girls have black or white cotton knickers for use most of the time. I mean, I had a few slightly more racy pairs, but nice girls don't have racy knickers.

And then 18 months ago, I basically fell in love with my bottom. Which sounds a little narcissistic, so it would be more accurate to say that I fell in love with what my bottom stands for. Loved objects need to be respected, and dressed in appropriate wear. So I started buying cute knickers. Lacy ones. Silky ones. Frilly ones. Slogan ones. All the pretty knickers in existence, to make up for lost time. I just kept ON buying. And buying. And buying. Until I reached the point that even I realised that purchasing 16 pairs of knickers in one weekend is excessive.

So yes, My name is Eliane, and I'm a knicker addict. I'm not quite sure where I go from here, but I'm sure I once read that admitting you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery.


Graham said...

Sorry Eliane, but there's just no helping you.

Reading this post, I had this image of an earnest voiceover recounting your sorry tale while I sepia-toned montage played... awesome : )

Graham said...

er, while *a* sepia-toned montage played, not "I." eeshk.

Jack said...

Sounds as if a sound spanking in one of the skimpier pairs is needed to demonstrate quite how respectful and appropriate they are...

Casey's Belly said...

Eliane, you said: So yes, My name is Eliane, and I'm a knicker addict. I'm not quite sure where I go from here, but I'm sure I once read that admitting you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery.

For the life of me, I can't see that you have a problem at all!

Enjoy your interests, and, if you feel like it, tell us more! I'm sure there are a great many of us only too ready and willing to read anything you have to say about knickers ;) !

Paul said...

Eliane, I don't see a problem, there is very little better than a pretty girl in pretty knickers, except perhaps, a pretty girl just having taken off those knickers preparing for a spanking. WEG.
Warm hugs,

Indy said...

Well, there is one downside to this pretty knickers obsession. How many bottles of vintage champagne could you have bought with the money you've spent this way, young lady? ;-)

catherine said...

LOL totally with you on the knicker buying front - I just wish I could stick to those with Primark prices, as unfortunately I seem to be addicted to Figleaves and Leia Lingerie (and also, sadly, to pressing the "sort by highest price first" link!) And when I find cute expensive knickers, I tend to try to buy a matching bra - and suspenders too, if they have them, as I'm also a stockings lover.

It's a good job Agent Provocateur undies mostly don't come in an E cup...

Oops, that was fatal - I went and checked. They didn't last month, but now they do!!! Erm... I might be a while, I seem to have some shopping to do!


Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

Eliane, have you considered going for spanking therapy?

It's the one thing that could come between you and your knickers!

Caroline Grey said...

I hear you. I have big feet too, and I justify my knicker addiction by saying I've never had a SHOE addiction, and it would be SO MUCH WORSE if I had a shoe addiction, so really a knicker addiction isn't that bad....

So obviously I haven't even taken the first step.

Can I just admit here that what I really need is a bra addiction. I was a perky a cup for oh so long but after several gainings and losings of weight and the advancing years I'm just now admitting that I really should wear a bra. And I have only two, both miserable washed out things...hmmm. Shopping calls.