Saturday, 19 December 2009

Perverting The Furniture

My house move is occupying my thoughts far more than it probably should, given that it could all still fall through, though of course I really, really hope that it doesn't!

Regardless of the fact that I *shouldn't* be thinking about things that are not done and dusted as if they were certainties, this is exactly what I am doing. This is particularly true in regard to furniture.
As I've mentioned before, I moving into a bigger place. This means things like more furniture. And a new bed. I want a bed that has slats at both the head and the foot. You know what I mean, an iron and a wooden bed frame. Partly for aesthetic purposes, mostly because they are damn useful for tying a girl to. My current bed frame (which I've had for more years than I care to remember, since I was 17, I think - when I left home it came with me!) was bought, thinking back on it, with that thought at the back of my head, even though my kink was totally suppressed at that time.
So that's the bed. That one's fairly easy to get away with. I need to get other furniture I can pervert though. Library steps - we've already talked about them. They will be useful, for reaching my high shelves, of course. (What did you think, you perves?)
I've also been wondering about Blanket Boxes - large trunk like boxes for storing linen. I could get away with one of those, couldn't I? And the are also quite useful for girls to be draped across.

Of course, what I really want is a *proper* spanking bench. You know what I mean - one that you kneel on one bit and lay your body over the rest. I really, really want one. I even know where I might get one from, but the main problem is, how on earth do I explain that one away to the vanillas who come visiting?

So this is where you come in: I either need 1) A good way to explain away a massive spanking bench or 2) lots more suggestions for nice furniture I can buy and pervert. Thank you muchly.


Graham said...

Maybe you could say it's a fancy piece of exercise equipment or something?

Indy said...

I did a google search for "inconspicuous spanking bench" and was amazed to find something that actually billed itself that way: the contoured spanking bench from Captive Pleasure, which folds flat for storage. It's kind of ugly, though.

So, I did a fuller search for you. Bondage furniture warehouse has a number of options, including the queening bench that they claim is especially popular in the UK:

This one looks the most comfortable of the options I saw. They claim it can be assembled and disassembled in 15 minutes, 30 if you're sipping champagne:

Or this one:

And now, searches for inconspicuous spanking bench will find your blog! :-)

Rebecca said...

What about a weights bench? The ones with adjustable backs could work quite well, would be supportive and totally explicable. Otherwise how often do you have visiting vanillas? Could you claim that the room was a shrine and very personal and thus they couldn't see it?! Or what about draping something over it and claiming it was gerbils?!

Master Retep said...

Sorry to be all mundane, but speaking from experience, make sure that your oh-so-sexy restraint-friendly-headboard doesn't cut a groove in your neck when you try to read in bed.

As for the bench, I'm with you all the way. @Rebecca, if any curious visitor removed the drapes subsequent to being fed the story, they'd freak out at the thought of those gerbils escaping.