I told a vanilla friend about my new found interests the other night. She's actually the third friend I've told and one of these days I will get round to writing a longer post about telling them.
Anyway, she was generally very cool with it, but we were sitting there chatting and she said 'I don't get it, you're always such a wimp when you fall over or stub your toe or something. When did you start liking pain?"
"Well, actually, I don't like the pain at all when it's happening. In fact, when I'm being spanked, in that moment, I would give quite a lot for it not to be happening, because it HURTS!"
"So why do you do it then?"
Ummm...
Cue quite a lot of waffling from me about how it's the scene I enjoy, the anticipation, the dynamic, the not being in control, that lovely warm afterglow that you can feel the next day as well. I don't think she really got it though. I definitely need to come up with a succinct answer if I'm going to insist on carrying on coming out to my vanilla friends!
40 minutes ago
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Hehe, I have a post about telling vanilla friends, going up tomorrow! We're, like, psychic!
I've told three friends, too, though that was all at the same time so I think it only counts once. There was lots of waffling involved there, too. Perhaps your first job as Empress of Scaredy-Cat Land could be to write us all a nice, concise speech explaining things?
Eliane, could it possibly have something to do with trust.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
And endorphins! I don't think I play as hard as you do, but I tell my friends it's kind of like going for a jog when you're out of shape. At first, you think, why am I doing this when I could just stop and walk? I'll never make it. And then the endorphins hit and you suddenly feel strong and happy and don't notice the pain so so much.
Eliane I liked the story you told me about your friend and the weekend away. You bravely told her about 'this thing we do' and that you were being encourage to mind your language. She then spent the weekend trying to get you to swear unsuccessfully.
Anyway you could always introduce me to your friends to explain it to them.
Gosh George, that was so mean of my friend, trying to get me to swear and get into trouble, wasn't it? I don't know anyone else who would do that, do you?!?!
I'm sure you would explain it to them, probably with a demonstration :-)
Eliane,
I have told my sister and a few friends. I start off with - 'I have no idea why but it REALLY turns me on'. I am turned on by the guy taking charge, by the feeling of being controlled by someone else. I love the way it reduces my stress and the closeness I feel to my spanker. Why do these things happen - don't know and don't care. I am just glad I found out about it!!
Hugs,
PK
Why is is that a demonstration to a friend seems *so* necessary!!? My Disciplinarian seems to think that it really might be beneficial. ;-)
Olivia
x
Let me answer that!
Poor Eliane is lost for words when trying to describe why she likes having a man around who'll discipline her if she strays. If Eliane wants to explain it properly then there's nothing like a practical demonstration. Of course her friend would still not understand the sensations involved with being spanked and therefore it would be necessary to watch Eliane take a spanking before being spanked herself.
If Eliane tells her male friends then, fortunately, men will not expect to understand her (as she's a woman, you see) so they'll be no need for any demonstrations or practical experience.
Olivia, I was going to say that it's maybe because they are all secret exhibitionists, who would relish any opportunity to show off their skills, but I think George amply demonstrated that point for me ;-)
I also like the way he freely admits that men don't understand women :-D
Thanks for the answer George!
I still think that there may be something in what you say eliane, about secret exhibitionists though ;-)
I mean, I would / do get lost for words or completely red faced if / when I find myself trying to explain the benefits to me of formal discipline and smacked bottoms ... but I * still * am not sure there are not other ways for it to be demonstrated like watching spanking film clips, reading bloggers insights, ummm...there must be more...but surely it doesn't *have* to involve me or eliane having to bare our bottoms to anyone we know!!! ;-)
Please, no!
Olivia
x
Eliane is quite the exhibitionist so is likely to drop her knickers at the slightest opporunity Olivia. I take it that you're quite prudish ;)
I am *not* an exhibitionist, as well you know, George!!
And yes!
I am prudish ;-)
* If* prudish means that the idea of dropping my knickers and going over my Disciplinarian's knee in front of my friends makes my jaw drop and my cheeks turn crimson!
Olivia
x
P.s. and seeing that it is way past my bedtime I suspect that may be something I'm threatened with :)
I've had discussions about why one sort of pain turns us on and another totally doesn't with other kinky folk, but I can't say we ever came to a cohesive conclusion.
For me it's this (leaving the whole mental part of the scene out, because obviously that's fantastic):
I like pain to have a definite beginning & end and a purpose. I can't abide stomach aches, they turn me into a whiny mess. I don't mind so much if I accidentally cut myself.
When I'm being spanked I know the pain will end when the spanking is done and so I don't have to worry about how long I'll feel this way and what if it never stops and why on earth am I hurting so much...
That's how I rationalize it. Mostly though, I don't think about it I just enjoy it :)
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