Emma Jane's post today was a heartfelt and considered one about hugs/contact after scenes, and the fact that she sometimes needs to be left alone. The main thing that struck me about the post though, was how painful the strapping/paddling she received was.
"The strap was thin but wide and it HURT so badly. I cried from the first stroke. Not silent tears either, but noisy gulping cries. I don't know how many I got but enough to be truly sobbing by the time he switched to the wooden paddle."
Previously when reading this, I would have thought that it sounded extremely painful, but secretly rather hot. In my present frame of mind, it just sounds painfully scary, and makes me feel a bit sick.
And speaking of sick, I'm getting sick and tired of feeling like this. What's the solution? I'm wondering whether I just need to get on with it, and get a caning/strapping/whatever instead of gradually building things up in my head to be something more than they are. You know, some type of kill or cure scenario. My worry is that it might kill rather than cure.
15 hours ago
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6 comments:
Just give yourself time hon and try not to worry about it - because the more you stress the worse it will get - desires ebb and flow so don't worry xx
Hang in there, Eliane. Moving is stressful enough, but de-kinking and selling your house? Arghhhh! At least you won't have so much trouble keeping the toys hidden.
I would not advise a really hard punishment when you feel a bit wobbly. Just a gentle, erotic spanking, just to remind you of why you like it in the first place...
Agree with the above. Go easy on yourself - and remember, it'll come back sooner or later... you're just *that* depraved : )
I second Jessica: it's okay to not want a thrashing or an out-and-out beating. There are times when I ask for just the hand.
I've had a couple of doozies lately, similar to what Emma described, where I'm sobbing at the first implement. Sometimes it has been hot, sometimes it has just been painfully scary and made me feel a bit sick. And both thrashings were fairly identical. What made it hot one day and miserable the next? *shrug*
Which is just to say whatever you're going through sounds pretty normal to me. Not pleasant, but normal. Hang in there!
I thought you were heading in the right direction last night and the Eliane I saw looked to me well able to rejuvenate her kink, with a bit more of the right kind of TLC.
(Strangley enough, the Kaptchka for this comment is "beaster"?!)
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