Saturday 25 October 2008

Vocabulary Issues

I have a tendency to overreact. This would actually surprise some people who know me as I generally manage to keep a lid on my temper. Sometimes, though, my buttons get pushed and wham, there I am, overreacting again. George used a word in his post on Friday that pushed all my buttons. He called me his sub. (Which he has now changed to spanking partner, thank you George!)

This is one word I have a real problem with. I am not naturally submissive, though I can have my moments, and the connotations associated with being "someone's sub" are not ones I am happy with. I am fiercely independent, and that is very important to me. Bending, in any way, to someone's will, against my own, is something I find intensely difficult. So when I read this word last night, I felt more than a little uneasy. That unease continued into the next morning, and, when he sent me an email, which on reflection was well intentioned, I took it completely the wrong way. I viewed it as an attempt to control me, and lost my temper. Stupid? Yes. Unjustified? Yes.

He and I probably still need to have a conversation about the labels we put on ourselves and our relationship, but the point is that they *are* only labels. It doesn't change what we do.

9 comments:

George said...

Oh for goodness sake...

I can think of several labels to put on you.

Eliane said...

Yes, and I doubt many of them are polite ;-)

George said...

They're all polite. I respect you.

Eliane said...

And you have far more patience with me than I deserve.

K said...

Hubby and I had been together eleven years when we discovered spanking. You wouldn't find a more blissfully married couple anywhere. Yet, we still had vocabulary issues early in our spanking explorations. It helped to talk it through and understand each others' thoughts.

Paul said...

Eliane, one thing you need to remember about labels, they only fit where they touch..
Warm hugs,
Paul.

Indy said...

I don't think you're being as unreasonable as you say, Elaine. I suspect there's something real there underneath the loss of temper. It's a tricky business for some of us women, getting spanked without feeling less important in a relationship. Hopefully, George will understand that those concerns come from a lifetime of experiences rather than being solely about him, and the two of you can talk them through.

Indy said...

sorry-- Eliane, not Elaine...

George said...

indy, I think your comments are valid. I'm sure we will sort it out. In many ways it's unfortunate she is facing a caning on Monday evening as it would be good to have time to talk. However I don't believe that postponing a punishment sends the right message and I'm confident that we are (or will be) back on track.