Saturday, 31 January 2009

Mum's The Word

I told my mother. I'd been thinking about it for a while. She and I have always been pretty close, at least close enough that she's got a fair idea of my movements, and the names of my friends, if not what I get up to when I'm with them! So it was feeling increasingly awkward answering questions with one word answers, not elaborating on details, and just generally feeling as though I was being dishonest, which I don't do particularly well. I knew that if I didn't tell her eventually we would drift apart a little, and I didn't want that to happen. Also, this is something that has made me immensely happy in the past few months, and I wanted to share that with her.

Of course, I was worried what her reaction would be. After all, I was telling her that her darling daughter was into sexual practices which would not be deemed normal by the majority of the population, and that I had a whole new group of friends who were into the same sorts of things that I was, and who would probably be seen as "perverts" by most people (sorry guys!). Not exactly the sort of thing any parents is going to be particularly thrilled to hear.

Bless her, I didn't exactly give her much choice in the matter either. I said that I wanted to tell her something, but I knew she didn't need to know. That she would probably be shocked, even though it was a good thing for me, and that it would probably change the way she saw me. So if she didn't want to know what I had to tell her, we could finish the conversation there and then, and never speak of it again. Obviously she said that she had better hear what I had to say... so I told her.

Nervously, and with quite a lot of stumbling, I explained to her what I liked, and why I liked it.(Um, not the details, I hasten to add. It's enough for her to know that I like to be spanked. She doesn't need to know that I prefer straps to canes!!) I explained how happy it had made me over the past few months, and how I had some amazing new friends to share this with, and that some of the names I had mentioned were not friends I'd met through work, or through my Am Dram activities, but through my love of spanking.

Much to my relief, she seems to be OK with it. I'm sure, deep down, she would probably rather I was not "like this", but she was supportive, and said that as long as I was happy (and safe, how very "mum") that was all that mattered. She also said that she had noticed that I seemed happier over the past few months.

So it's all good. I'm very glad I told her, and that my faith in her was justified. Of course, I will probably never have in depth conversations with her about it, but I can at least now be honest about where I am and who I am with, and our relationship will not be driven apart by my secret. And knowing that has made me even happier. So here's to my mother. Who won't be reading this, but nevertheless is a fabulous and understanding woman.


Anonymous said...

Hey, well done. That was brave of you!

Anonymous said...

Well done darling! And go your mum for being all understanding. Yay!

Indy said...

Ditto Smudge & Haron's comments! My least favorite thing about the last year is being less than honest with my parents. I don't think I'll follow your example, but I'm really glad it worked out well. I suspect the poor dears think I'm having an affair...

PK said...

I think that conversation with your mom was great. My parents were gone by the time I came out but I did tell my sister last year. I am glad I told her but I also realized she had no idea the depth of what it meant to me. In other words she just thought of it as an unusual form of foreplay I enjoyed,where to much of us it is a way of life meeting some deep emotional need. But that's okay! I feel better that I know longer have to hide it but I didn't tell her enough to make her uncomfortable.


Irelynn said...

Aww, well done! I'm so proud!

I have a blog to keep my friends and family back home updated of what's going on in my life, and it's so hard! Being kinky is such a big part of my life right now, but I can't tell them so many things. I met you through Smudge, you know. And Smudge through an online network. And they probably think Haron and Abel are friends from uni as well, just like they think Sarah's at my uni. I hate it, but I can't tell them the truth. My grandmother reads that blog. She'd have a heart attack.

So well done indeed. I hope it makes things easier.

Anonymous said...

Very cool that it went so well. Not always the case... but, we agree... it's hard to have a close relationship when you have to hide something that's such a big part of you.

Todd & Suzy

Dante d'Amore said...

Wow. This is something I've never read on a spanking blog or ever thought I would. Very cool. Brave too. :)

OliviaManners said...

You are very brave. And I love it that she had noticed a difference in you.

Does that mean I can come round your Mum's for tea now? ;-)


Winchester said...

Congratulations - and bravo mother for not throwing a fit, disinheriting you or suggesting that you shuold have counselling!!! Very brave of you - but as you said at the end - your mother must be a remarkable woman!

Eliane said...

Thank you all :-) Yes, my mother is a wonderful woman. I'm very lucky!
Oh, and Olivia - of course you can come round for tea!

dixiedarling said...

I just wanted to add my two cents and say how wonderful it is you were able to take that step and not feel like you lept off a cliff to rocks below.

I have a close relationship with my mother as well and wish I could tell her but unfortunately she was in a very abusive (physical and mental) relationship so this is probably the one and only thing she would have trouble accepting with me.

I hope I'm wrong and maybe someday I'll find out when the timing is right...but for now...I stand and applaud you!

Alyx said...

Wow. I think you're very brave and open and I'm glad it worked out well. I would never share something like that with my mother...or anyone else who wasn't a fellow spanko or a lover, for that matter! *g*

Yes, it's a bit in the closet, but I'm okay with that. I'm open with lots of other things in my life, but that's too close to the core of my sexuality to be comfortable with sharing it with anyone.