Tuesday 28 July 2009

Dekinking

I am selling my house. It's a good time to do so, people tell me. I suspect there will never be a good time for me to sell my house, as I am a very untidy person, and trying to keep it tidy for viewings is nightmarish.
I had the first viewing for a while a couple of days ago, and I had to do a proper dekinking. When friends come round it's unlikely they will be going in all the rooms. I can usually shove any offending material into my bedroom and shut the door. Of course, with a viewing, people will want to see all the rooms. Cue panic that morning.
Have I put all the implements in the wardrobe? Nope, the canes are still out, crap. As is my new little flogger that I delight in waving around a lot.
Is all the porn hidden? Dammit, no, there's a book on the floor.
How about the vibrators? Yup, they're all hidden. Whoops, nope, my duckie is still out.
Right, scan the bedroom. Ties still on the bed. Better undo them.
Speaking of a different type of tie, is my school uniform in the depths of the wardrobe? It is now.
OK, I must be nearly done by now. Wait, no, the Sculpta Sutra and the Erotic Dinner Party Kit are still out.
I think that's it.
Being messy is one thing. Being messy and kinky is quite another, I'm finding.

10 comments:

Alyx said...

You have my sympathy. But at least you're in your own home, and don't know the people who come 'round.

Me, I'm going on a trip to England in a couple of weeks. I also live with relatives. Now, knowing how many planes have been falling out of the sky recently, how do you think it makes me feel knowing I have to prepare for the possibility that something happens to me and I leave all the kink behind?!?

What a quandry! Do I erase my hard drive so no one can see the treasure trove of kink stored there? Do I burn all the books in my nightstand? Do I bury the "toys" somewhere?? I know if my parents or siblings have to go through all this stuff when I'm dead, I'd be turning over in my grave! *groan*

FioreDiPepe said...

:-D Smile!

ronnie said...

Good luck with the house selling.

Whenever we go away I always make sure all our toys are put away. P think I'm silly but I tell him what if the house was broken into and the police had to come, what would they think of canes, paddles and so on left around :)

Axyl - Enjoy your trip to England and bring a shower coat with you, most days are rainy at the moment of course not sure what it will be like in a couple of week.

Ronnie
xx

EmmaJane said...

I'm moving too. But my problem will be movng all the kinky gear usually hidden in my room, to my new house withouut my flatmates seeing any of it!

Unknown said...

Liked this!…I can sense panic you were in!!
It is an interesting thought though, if one was to view a second hand house and out from the corner of your eye you saw a cane sticking out from under a bed….what would you do???

Master Retep said...

@EJ The old flatmates, the new ones, or the friends that are helping you move? The last group are the biggest risk. How do you stop them helpfully grabbing the wrong bag or manage the bottom unexpectedly falling out of a box!

Alyx said...

Axyl...LOL, I like that. (And here Graham was worrying about her name being too butch. *vbg*)

Thank you very much, Ronnie, I was wondering about the weather! :) Guess I'd better pack hiking boots too if I'm planning to go tromping about in some famous (possibly soggy) English gardens.

Btw, Eliane, I wish you the best on selling your house. Buying a new one can be very exciting!

Indy said...

I am so with you on this, Eliane! I think I might actually look for a job in another city, but I can't face the hassle of selling the house! Good luck!

Irelynn said...

EmmaJane, do as I did and put all your kinky stuff in a big bag and seal it off. Then stuff it in a suitcase or box, be sure to be the one handling the box, and when someone accidentally opens the box and sees the bag and asks what's in it, just say it's none of their business. ;) Worked for me when my mum was helping me emigrate in any case!

Eliane said...

The post script to this story: just before I answered the door, I did one last check around - only to realise that my free birch I was given at LAM was in the spare room, loud and proud. I quickly shoved it under the duvet cover!

I think I'm going to give up on the moving thing. Being constantly tidy is a near impossibility.

Enjoy your trip, Alyx! It's very soggy here, you've been warned!