Monday, 20 July 2009

Taking Orders

Taking orders is something I often have a bit of a problem with. I don't like being told what to do, as simple as that. If something is phrased as a request, then fair enough, but being ordered to do something? It just makes me want to turn round and go "no" or something ruder. I find this problem rears its head particularly severely with SatNav systems. I don't have SatNav in my own car. There are a couple of reasons for this: one is that I hate the way that people often turn off their brains when they turn on the SatNav. I have had people go *miles* out of their way driving to my town because they were doing what the SatNav told them, which involved a 30 mile detour from the route they had driven twenty times before without a SatNav! Tales abound in the UK of people driving down tiny, narrow lanes because the SatNav told them too. Read a map guys, seriously!!
I do use other people's SatNav's once in a while though, or have them in hire cars, and this is when I realise *just* how much I hate taking orders.

SN: "At the next road, turn left."
Me: "Hmpf. Bossy thing."
SN: "Turn left."
Me: "No, why should I? I don't want to!"
SN: "Turn left now."
Me (shouting by this point): "Stop bloody well ordering me about, I don't WANT to turn left!!!!"
At which point, I turn left. Obviously. Because that's the right way to go. Doesn't mean I'm happy about it though. After a whole journey of this, I'm about ready to take the SatNav and hurl it into the deepest, darkest ocean I can find. After I've stamped on it twenty times.

SatNavs are one thing. When it's a real life person sitting next to you, it's altogether different. I drove some friends home the other day, and was taking directions from the lovely gentleman in the front seat, who was very kindly telling me where to go, as I didn't know. The trouble was, I was getting more and more wound up by being told what to do. I mentioned something along those lines, and at the next junction he didn't give me directions. Cue me asking very nicely in my most polite voice, if he could possibly tell me where to go, and then getting annoyed again when he did.
Sigh. I think I need to learn to take orders better!


Angie said...

oh gosh, thank you, that was about the funniest thing I've read in a while.

I've seen people argue and yell at their satnavs before, everything from 'stop it stop it stop it!'
to 'you aren't the boss of me!'
to 'but I don't Want to go that way so there!' to 'you aren't the boss of me!'

It's really quite amazing. They get so involved, they don't even realize that you are there.

But don't some of those satnav voices sound just To smarmy and smug?

And to funny how you got put out after you were the one that asked him for help!


PK said...

We have one of those and I love it for going to other states and strange places. Even if it doesn't take the the fastest route it will get me there.

But when it came it had a women's voice - I could NOT take orders from a woman. Nick found a way to change it to a male voice and I can usually handle that.


Irelynn said...

Well, when my mum, my brother and I went on a trip through Ireland we hired a car, and it had satnav. Then we wanted to deviate from the route it told us to go, and it got very upset with us. It kept repeating in this urgent voice, "Turn around if possible. Turn around if possible. Turn around..." Well you get the idea. Which made the three of us very gleeful because we felt we had won from the satnav in managing to upset it so much.

I don't have a car right now but I do have a DomTom waiting to be installed on the first satnav I can get my hands on. When you ignore it's instructions it should say things like, "Report to my study immediately, naughty girl! Ignoring my instructions will get you spanked." Which seems like a lot more fun to me.

Jessica said...

Oh dear! He Who Must Be Obeyed caught you out :)

Master Retep said...

I have a friend who hired a car for a raodtrip from LA to Denver. It worked grand 'till approaching Denver when it started to ask, in a slightly puzzled voice "Are you in Missouri?" As he neared the area of Denver in which he though he would find his hotel, the SatNav mantra changed to an even more puzzled "Are you indoors?"

At the risk of being flamed for a try at a music hall era joke, perhaps he got the SatNav with the female map reader rather than the female voice.

Indy said...

I am so with you about SatNav/ GPS devices. And about being told what to do! I have to see a map so that I have a picture in my head. A list of directions is completely lost on me-- unless it's really, really important.

DomTom does sound like more fun, though!

maidie said...

I turn the voice off on mine. Even though it's John Cleese.

What was cute, on Saturday night, was as I was driven for a change, rather than doing the driving, I had to give the directions home. Which just felt... weird.

I don't normally get to tell them where to go ;-).

Eliane said...

I'm so glad that lots of other people feel the same about SatNavs ;-) The DomTom voice does sound good though. If I ever get a SatNav I'll have to get that.