I have two very contrasting views of "vanilla". In one aspect of my life I strive for and embrace it, but in another I, if not loathe it, certainly try to avoid it at much as possible.
In my work life, I am in the IT industry. "Vanilla" is a very common term in the IT lexicon, and basically means software used as designed, with no modifications or customisations for a particular customer or implementation. It's somewhat of a Holy Grail in the software business, for both suppliers and customers, because the more non-vanilla a piece of software is, the more it costs to change and support, and the more headaches it gives everyone concerned. Due to this, I spend a fair proportion of my life advocating the vanilla approach.
Of course, I spend the rest of it advocating the "non-vanilla" approach, it's modifications all the way, thank you very much! It's not that I I'm prejudiced against vanillas, to coin a well know phrase, some of my best friends are vanillas ;-) It's not what I want for me though. I came to the conclusion not long after I embraced my kinkiness that it was very unlikely that I'd be able to have a relationship with a non kinky person again, and the passing months have only confirmed this. My kink has (rapidly!) become an integral part of who I am, and I don't think I would be able to have any sort of meaningful relationship with someone who didn't, at least to some extent, share that kink. So I will continue to be an advocate of vanilla 50% of the time, and the complete opposite the other 50%.
1 day ago