Contentment

Talking with a friend the other day, she commented on how happy I seemed, and also how settled, and she was right. For years, since I left university really, I have been a long term sufferer of "itchy feet" syndrome. Every year or so I would have a desperate desire to travel, to get away. A couple of times I was able to act on this and take big trips, a couple of times not. In 2007 I was planning to take a sabbatical in '08 or '09 and go on another big trip. I spent a good part of the past 11 years planning various big holidays, possible routes, places I wanted to visit.

Over the past few months, that need to "escape" has abated. Don't get me wrong, I still love travel. I'm off on holiday in a few weeks, I will always be planning my next trip as well, but I don't feel the need for these trips to be 6 or 8 weeks in length. I mean, if I won the lottery, sure, I'd be off like a shot (I think), but for now, there seems to be more important things to do. Spending time with friends. Buying a house. Enjoying my play. I seem to have found a sort of peace in my life. I'm not so much in that state of questing. Some of that is down to age, I think, and wisdom, and the things I have experienced in life. Even though it's several years since my Dad died, the circumstances surrounding that still teach me lessons even today, and as I grow older I can appreciate those lessons more.
What I seem to have reached is a state of contentment, and I think so much of that can be put down to my embracing of my kink. I feel like I no longer have to be searching for a place in the world. I've found it. Being able to do what I do, with the wonderful people I do it with, has brought me an inner peace, a happiness. Contentment.