I spent a lovely afternoon with a group of vanilla friends, two new mothers and a mother-to-be. For those of you reading this, I like babies/children fine, but have no intention of ever pro-creating myself. It hasn't been on my game plan since I was 14, and I've shown no sign of changing my mind. Naturally, quite a lot of the conversation veered towards pregnancy, and some of the things that were said prompted some replies that stayed firmly within my head at the time!
Disclaimer: I am in no way trying to say there is any real comparison between the pain of a spanking and the pain of labour, okay?
"Pregnancy has actually been quite good for my body image, you know. There's only so many times that you can be prodded and poked before you just stop worrying about it."
"Funny you should say that, I'm the same with spanking. After the nth time of having your knickers pulled down, you stop obsessing over what your bum looks like."
"Yeah, the birth's not pleasant, and it really hurts, and at the time you wonder how you'll get through it, but at the end of the day you survive, and you forget how bad it was and want to do it again."
"Um, sounds a bit like a caning to me..."
"And of course at the end of the day, you have something to show for all the pain."
"Yes you do. Cane marks. Yum."
Aren't I awful? You can't take me anywhere.
9 hours ago