Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Sub Drop

I've never used to feel entitled to claim that I got sub drop, for the simple reason that I didn't feel I played hard enough or got off on the pain enough to experience a physical endorphin crash, which is what I always thought to be the definition of sub drop

I then started to wonder if I was doing myself a disservice taking that point of view. I often spend the next day or so after a spanking in a funk, being slightly depressed, unable to properly focus, desperate to fulfill my kinky needs, unsatisfied by my everyday life. However, I came to realise that sub drop is not just that, it's also a craving, that need to *be* kinky... and it's a similar feeling to that I've experienced when something deliciously wonderful, like a holiday, or the run of a show, is over: the longing to be back in the situation again

So maybe, I concluded, sub drop is not just about a physical endorphin crash, maybe it's also about that sense of loss experienced when something that was fun and exciting and enjoyable is over; when you can no longer be in the company of like-minded people but have to start to function again in the "normal" world. Maybe I was doing myself a disservice denying myself the opportunity to be able to give those feelings some sort of a label. Labels are only a way of categorising things, but sometimes if you can put a label on something it aids your understanding of it, and therefore your ability to cope with it.

If I had any doubts as to whether I experience sub drop, they were wiped out after a day's role play on Sunday. In all fairness I was very tired, having got too little sleep the night before, but once the role play was over, I had the most massive crash that I've ever had. In a matter of minutes, I reached the stage where I could barely function. I was supposed to be helping getting dessert out and had to ask for instructions every minute. Everything just went. I felt weird, spacey, on the verge of tears, and just in need of massive hugs. The strange thing (though probably not so strange given the situation) was that I was not the only one in this position. At least four people, and probably more, all pretty much crashed at the same time. So the only real thing to do was to give each other lots of hugs and go home to bed. Which is what happened. I was still in a pretty bad state the next morning though, but luckily one of my friends was staying so she was able to give me another big hug to help me through the day.

So yup, no denying that I get sub drop any more. I suppose it's the price you pay for fantastic experiences. If so, it's a price I'm willing to pay.


Jessica said...

Sub drop - ah, it's a bugger. Prosaically, I think you just have to look forward to the next thing in the diary!

Rebecca said...

If you think about it the whole thing generates a sort of adrenaline rush but when that's gone you're adrenaline free so crash :( Ice cream and hugs and glittery things help :)