Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Jemima Goes To School Again

With memories of her detention thrashing for being the worst girl in the school last term, Jemima headed back to school for the new term determined to make a better show of things.
Of course, she still had to attempt to push a few boundaries, but was deeply disappointed that her appearance in assembly with her hair in about 50 plaits garnered no comments from the teachers. Strictly speaking, she was within the rules (long hair must be plaited...) but she still had hoped to incur some wrath, on the basis that winding teachers up is just plain funny.
To be honest, some of the teachers seemed in a rather pleasant mood this term. Many points were gained in English Grammar, History may have gone better if she hadn't been paired with one of the new transatlantic girls, Cassady. The girl seemed nice enough though, so she may forgive her for her poor performance in history class.
She thought Mr S was very kind to ignore the fact that she dozed off in PSE. All this talk of "One Thing Leads To Another"... well, of course it does, isn't that rather the point?! She wishes Lowewood wasn't quite so prudish on the boy issue.
Art was another matter though. Mr B was not impressed when Jemima left her sweets from her new Irish friend Caoilfhionn. It wasn't fair to put them away. They were in a leprechaun and so cute. So anyway, that was her being called up to the front of the class and spanked. It was a very sulky Jemima who went back to her seat and proceeded to stare at her piece of paper, feeling totally uninspired. Amazingly, because she was working with other girls, she found out at the end of the day that she'd actually gained 10 house points for doing nothing. Score!
Unfortunately, her run-ins with Mr B were not yet finished. She was called to see him during biology to discuss her behaviour on the recent field trip. It seems someone had put in a complaint to the governors, and she found herself being spanked and slippered and given 12 of the best. Very unfair, as it was all due to another pupil leading her astray.
It was with a very sore bottom that Jemima made her way on to the Games field for Netball. Luckily, she found herself on the same team as the head girl for the first match, which is infinitely preferable to playing opposite the head girl, which she had to do in the second match. Her team won 14-2, and then the second match was a 9 all draw. Jemima would like to point out that she can claim no credit for these results, having spent most of both games loitering round the goal posts, and being shouted at for being closer than three feet to the person with the ball. Her frequent cries that she had no spatial awareness and did not *know* how much three feet (or six inches) was fell on deaf ears. Unfortunately, the point at which she told Mr S to "p*ss off" after he suggested a cross country run after netball did not fall on deaf ears.
And so to the end of the day, and detention. Even though most girls (including Jemima) ended up in positive points (+20, a 55 point improvement on last time), the staff decided that the general standard of language and behaviour, had been so awful, above all during games, that they were all going to be dealt with in detention. So to the staff room, and a long lecture involving paddles and canes from Mr E about maintaining decorum and avoiding bad language. After promises (yet again) to try harder next time, Jemima went outside and sat with Jessica to keep her company while Natalie was being dealt with. Poor Jessica could not be thrashed on her bum, due to a medical note, and so was destined to be punished on her hands or thighs, not a prospect that enthralled her. So Jemima tried to help by suggested she offered Mr E and alternative to punishing her. Of course, she was convinced of Mr E's probity, and that he would not take Jessica up on the offer, but it was quite funny to bet her anyway and see if she could land herself in worse trouble. Which she did. Silly girl. Propositioning teachers? Whoever heard of that..!


Kami Robertson said...

I'm becoming more and more jealous when I keep reading about all those wonderful adventures those poor girls had.

Pout. Sulk. Stomp. Hmpf...and couple of more ;)

Congratulations though on Jemima improvment ;)

Rebecca said...

A Jemima in positive points?! I did miss out...

EmmaJane said...

Eh only cos she had me to shield her. All the negative points were going my way!

And I think you did really well at netball. (sorry for shouting at you!)

Graham said...

Yeah, your partner was quite useless. But it was a case of stomach sickness, I tell you!

And *I* appreciated Jemima's braids. And sassy comments. And phone antics. And mad netball skills!

Indy said...

It might even be worth having to play netball to join in the fun. What's this rule about staying three feet away from the person with the ball? Sounds like the girls' basketball rules my mom had to follow to me.

Jessica said...

The idea about standing three feet away is so the other person stands a chance of scoring if they are three foot taller than you!

Well done Jemima - and oh god, I still owe you a fiver!